let your heart hold fast
by eeenjolras
Summary: Sometimes to move forward, you have to look backwards. Not far enough to revert to the person you use to be, but close enough you find the important lessons hidden along the way and gain enough closure. It takes Craig eleven years to figure out where he needs to be and realize maybe the biggest mistake of his life was actually for the best.
1. rumour has it

A/N: I started writing this in November 2015 after learning that Tweek and Craig had become canon. Since then, my bitterness has decreased and I've begun to appreciate what I've been given. Anyways, this has been a piece I've held onto for a long time - completed in early 2016 - but failed to get around to editing. It holds a special place in my heart despite being written by a younger, and less experienced me. I finally got around to editing it, mostly because I forgot what I wrote and was curious as to how the story went again.

This is roughly based on a fic I wrote a long fucking time ago (if you think this is old). It's buried somewhere on the archives of fanfiction dot net and is basically a 7k trainwreck, which at the time I wanted to be this length. Only one plotline really remains from that fic and even then, the association is very, very weak. Mostly headcanons remain as the connection. The first chapter has never been my favourite and always felt out of place with the rest of the piece, despite having important development to establish the paradigm of Kyle and Clyde's friendship. Regardless, I hope you enjoy reading it and stick around for future chapters, since those are what I enjoyed writing the most.

XXXXXXX

There's this rumour that Clyde Donovan and Craig Tucker are dating.

It isn't a well-known rumour and those who know of it, don't really believe it. Clyde Donovan is the straightest dude on the planet and desperately in love with Bebe Stevens, resident bombshell. Craig Tucker is, well, Craig.

Kyle is one of the rare people who actually thinks they are dating. There are several reasons based from fact and some from the application of 'Kyle Logic.' The first reason, from Kyle's reasoning, is that there are rumours that he and Stan were dating – which they are. People don't believe those rumours because Stan has dated a few girls prior to dating Kyle. For some reason, people are unwilling to grasp the concept of bisexuality.

Due to the climate of South Park High School, it's just as unfavourable to come out as dating any person as it is to come out as dating a person of the same sex. The only big detractor is Cartman, and he is more of a hassle than anything, sharp jeers and crude jokes. It's just easier to not be a public couple than deal with Cartman's harassment – there is no telling how long it would last until he has a new target.

The second reason is because Kyle considers himself perceptive enough to catch Craig not being cold to Clyde. Which, in itself is not really that much. Craig has been an asshole and a troublemaker since they were young. In high school, his behaviour and attitude only seemed to amplify. By senior year, Craig's attitude has reached such a notoriety that the freshmen have dubbed Craig the 'Ice King' because of the way he sweeps through the hallways.

But Craig can be nice, most commonly to his friends – a group that happens to include Clyde. Being nice isn't really that much by Craig's standards, since it's anything other than being a straight up asshole. Craig will do things like give Tweek a ride home when he missed the bus or give Clyde the dessert from his packed lunch. Kyle, like most people, would consider these to be 'normal' friend actions. Kenny and Stan are the finest examples of these being considered platonic things.

But Craig goes above that for Clyde. The most frequent example is he'll wait around after school for Clyde to get out of detention so he can give him a ride home. Kyle has come across Craig loitering outside the library where Clyde is serving out his detention more than once. When asked about it, Craig gives Kyle the dirtiest look he can manage and claims he doesn't want to go home – denying he was waiting for Clyde.

Kyle has been in the library when Clyde leaves and watched through the window as he joins up with Craig. The two of them eventually leaving together. Voiding any statements of denial Craig may have made earlier.

Thirdly, is how Craig lurks around the football field during practice. It isn't at all abnormal for people to come and watch the school's team practice. South Park's high school team is pretty damn good and people like being involved with it. Kyle isn't really interested in football, but he comes to each practice to support Stan (even if Kyle just does his homework instead of watching but his burgeoning theory of the Clyde and Craig relationship always deters his homework anyway).

For the first few practices, he notices Craig hanging around the back of bleachers, tucked away behind the seats. Craig never actually sits down, just stands for a while and watches. Craig has some interest in football, since he attended games and Randy Marsh's Sunday football parties with his father, but not enough to come watch a high school team practice.

Craig always comes late and leaves early and if Kyle isn't paying attention – he'll miss Craig's attendance completely. Kyle is positive that he is the only one that knows Craig comes to watch the practices.

But throughout the football season and over the years, Craig migrates to the bleachers. The big change is from when Craig broke his leg skateboarding. Standing in the back to hide was no longer an option if he wanted to watch while he had the cast. But after the cast is removed, Craig remains sitting in the bleachers – although he is higher up and away from the field. He is just a blue dot if you are standing where the players are. But he is there, which is what matters.

The first time Craig comes and actually sits down, Clyde jogs over to him at the end of practice. Clyde's sweaty and exhausted but his smile is so bright that Craig's presence must have erased any exhaustion. He is overjoyed Craig made the trip out and babbles out a list of concerns over Craig's broken leg. Clyde's delight is infectious, and Kyle can't help but smiling at the scene. He's pretty sure Clyde's happiness has something to do with Craig arriving on time for the rest of the season. Kyle sees the warmth in Craig's eyes as he looks at Clyde, his mouth curling into an almost smile. Craig gives all of his warmth to Clyde.

The fourth and perhaps most damning reason, is because Kyle spied on them at one of Token's parties. It's in the eleventh grade and Token's parents are out of town for work. The football team is going to the championship and everyone is thrilled to have such an amazing team. Someone has procured alcohol and it doesn't take long before most people are drunk.

Kyle, having a greatly overprotective mother and who still grounds him at 16, doesn't drink. He doesn't need his mother grounding him so he can't go to the championship game, two weeks from now. This all hinges on Kyle having perfect grades and behaviour. The grades are already in his pocket, but behaviour is risky since it's often based from the occurrences in South Park.

So Kyle is sober while all of his friends are drunk. Not that he minds, it's still fun hanging out with everyone. It also means that, between him and Stan, he gets to be the responsible one for once. Stan always takes care of Kyle. This time Kyle has the opportunity to be the hero.

Around 2 am, the drunkenness gets to point where a sober person can no longer handle it. Because of how he was raised, Kyle spends his time tidying up the house for Token. The Blacks return tomorrow evening and Token, from the way he's partying, is going to have a massive headache in the morning. By cleaning up, Kyle makes it less likely for the Blacks to get mad about the party, if they find out about it at all.

He decides to begin his tidy-up in the rec room downstairs, where the party started. At 2 am, many people have gone home and those who haven't are hanging out upstairs. The stairs to the basement are littered with garbage from drunk teenagers' migration upwards. Kyle takes his time, scooping up each piece and stuffing them into a garbage bag.

It's only when Kyle reaches the bottom of the stairs does he hear voices. He freezes and contemplates returning back upstairs, letting whoever is here have their privacy. He can clean the dining room and come back later. And since the entrance to the basement is hidden away from the rec room, no one will ever know Kyle has intruded.

Then he recognizes the voices as Craig and Clyde and curiosity gets the better of him. He leans in, straining to hear their muffled voices. Arranging himself quietly, Kyle manages to get a glimpse of the backs for their heads. The two of them are sitting on the couch, a modest distance away from each other.

The two of them are speaking in low, intimate tones. Kyle is unable to hear them without getting closer but this situation only furthers in his mind that the two of them have to be dating. Planning on pushing closer and possibly hearing what they are discussing, Kyle looks around for a better hiding spot. Unfortunately, that's ruined when the door to the basement slams open and Stan start drunkenly calling out for Kyle.

Both Craig and Clyde jump at the loud intrusion. Craig begins to look around suspiciously, but Kyle quickly pulls out of view. He slips back upstairs as quietly as possible, hoping to prevent Stan from coming downstairs and ruining his cover. When he arrives back upstairs, Stan doesn't question where he went – just why he had left. Apparently, Stan reached the point in his drunkenness where he's openly affectionate with Kyle and doesn't want to be separated.

Kyle doesn't mind being permanently attached to Stan for the rest of the party since Craig and Clyde soon rejoin the main group. They return at different times and just slip right back into the group, but that doesn't mean they kept apart from each other. Craig, returning about five minutes after Clyde, slips in beside Clyde without saying a word. Clyde gently knocks his shoulder and offers him a sip of his beverage, which Craig takes him up on.

The two of the share a secret glance – one that Kyle recognizes so clearly since he and Stan still use it. The relief that they weren't caught in a compromising position. It's then Kyle knows the rumour isn't just a rumour.

XXXXXXX

In the last few weeks of the eleventh grade, some months after the party, something happens between Craig and Clyde. Suddenly Clyde no longer sits with Craig in the cafeteria or hangs out with him during breaks. Instead, Clyde hangs out with his football buddies, Stan and Token. The group that oddly also includes Kenny, Kyle, and Butters. Instead of this group being another clique, it's just a group of friends because of the ragtag collection of people that make it up.

Craig completely ignores Clyde. He no longer waits for him after detention, eats his own dessert, and doesn't show up to watch the football practices. Kyle knows that, from deep down in his gut, the two of them have broken up.

"Why aren't you hanging out with Craig anymore?" Stan asks innocently at lunch a few days after Clyde integrated himself into their group.

An easy transition for the others due to Clyde's easygoing nature and the Stan's, as the unofficial leader, kindness and inclusiveness.

"He's an asshole," Clyde mutters.

Token gets a troubled look on his face, which Kyle notes quickly. Token had been friends with Craig when they were children but cited that he couldn't deal with Craig's attitude after a few years. The only attachment Token had with Craig is through his friendship with Clyde. Stan doesn't push the issues, returning to his lunch and making plans with Kenny to meet up after school.

Clyde doesn't speak much for the rest of lunch, poking at his food. Looking at him makes Kyle want to cry. Clyde looks miserably pathetic. His brown eyes are wide and glassy, tears threatening to fall, and his lips wobble together. Clyde cried a lot as a child, less so as a teenager but still at a higher frequency than most teenagers (in public).

After lunch, Kyle has AP Physics with Token. It's like God intended for Kyle to interrogate him.

"Did you finish the readings?" Token asks as they walk to the classroom. "I found that they were kind of dry."

"Why did you look upset when Clyde called Craig an asshole? Craig is an asshole," Kyle blurts, ignoring Token's question. "You've said so yourself, in the past."

"What's going on between them is none of my business," Token says resolutely.

"I'm asking about you," Kyle points out.

"But it's still about them," Token argues.

"Clyde's my friend and I want to know what's bothering him so I can help him," Kyle says.

Token scrutinizes him, looking for anything that might make Kyle disingenuous. Kyle does care about Clyde and does consider him a friend, although he might have more ulterior motives. His extreme desire to be right has always been one of Kyle's faults. Seemingly finding nothing that might indicate Kyle's motives, Token sighs and his shoulders sag forward. He then stops dead in his tracks and looks around, checking to see if anyone is listening.

"Ever since we were kids, Clyde always thought the world of Craig. Even when Craig was the biggest asshole in the world to Clyde, Clyde was still totally willing to forgive him. Not once have I ever heard Clyde admit to Craig's assholery. If Clyde is openly willing to call Craig an asshole, Craig must've done something really bad."

"And you have no idea what that is."

Token shakes his head.

"I haven't been friends with Craig since the eighth grade," Token says as if that answers everything.

Token then walks off to class, leaving Kyle alone in the hallway. Kyle spends of the rest of the day lost in his thoughts, going over what Token said. Whatever happened between Craig and Clyde of them must have been big.

The rest of eleventh grade goes this way. Clyde and Craig no longer hung out and aren't seen together at all. Clyde sticks to Stan and Token like a lost puppy. Kyle finds his presence somewhat annoying at first, since it shifts the dynamic of the group. But the group is more balanced this way, three jocks and three social outcasts.

At first Clyde has difficultly adjusting, seeming upset most days without Craig. Slowly, he starts to get over Craig and open up to his new group of friends. This is directly correlated to Kyle accepting him into the group. With Clyde crying less and decreasing the emotional volatility of the overall group, and actually putting forward that infectious delight he has, Kyle realizes that he and Clyde are actually really good friends.

Craig leaves to visit the home of his birth parents for the summer, ruining all hope Kyle has of Craig and Clyde becoming friends again. When Craig returns, he seems colder than before. This is when he gets the title of Ice King. When he moves through the hallways or enters a room, it is like temperature drops several degrees. Lack of Clyde seems to be the direct result of Craig's new persona.

XXXXXXX

Out of all the people from their fourth grade class, Tweek Tweak probably has the most complicated relationship with Craig.

When they were ten, these girls had started drawing pictures of them as a couple. Kyle has always known that they weren't a couple. At that point in time, he had been in a similar position with Stan. However, Tweek and Craig still pretended to be a couple until the sixth grade. At which point, the fanfare of their relationship had finally worn off. The whole town's sense of unity was no longer relying on their relationship, which gave them the chance to break up and forget about the whole incident.

It's then, that Kyle speculates, that Craig began laying the groundwork for his relationship with Clyde. No longer having his time dominated by pretending to be in a relationship, Craig was free to hang out with Clyde and actually pursue a real relationship. Not a false one forced upon him by a town's desperate need for diversity. Suddenly all of his time was spent with Clyde, instead of Tweek. Craig still remains immensely close with Tweek, often being the only one who was able to calm him down.

It is a favourite rumour that despite their sixth grade break-up, the two of them harbour secret feelings for one another but were unable to get back together due to tragic circumstances. The stories built up around Tweek and Craig run strongly in certain circles. Some people even consider them they tragic romance of South Park. Despite the town moving on, certain individuals are just unable to – a fact Kyle finds way too creepy.

Kyle hates that particular rumour with a burning passion. 'Tragic circumstances' is just stupid and their relationship was fake in the first place. There is no reason for them to get back together. But the rumour lives on and is constantly being tossed into gossip circulation since Tweek and Craig hang out a lot. Whenever Kyle tries to discuss the Craig and Clyde rumour, the Craig and Tweek rumour, which admittedly has stronger collective evidence, is thrown in his face. He has nothing against Tweek or their friendship, but his desire to be right is __very__ strong.

But Kyle isn't heartless and only focused on being right. He also hated it for Clyde's sake. Objectively, Kyle hates all the Craig rumours for Clyde's sake (and things that relate to Craig, in general). Whenever Clyde catches wind of a new rumour, he gets that watery look on his face and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Stan usually goes after him, being the best equipped to deal with these situations – having been in a similar situation with Wendy and their own 'devastating' break up rumour mill.

Subjectively, the rumour make Kyle angry since it went against everything he's seen. No one knows the truth like he does.

Yet the Tweek and Craig rumour always comes back and bites him in the ass.

"Fellas! Fellas!" Butters calls, running into the cafeteria.

His voice is full of glee and excitement. Kyle braces himself to be let down by Butter's news, since it's generally underwhelming. Butters is just an easily excitable person. The last time he came tearing into the cafeteria it was because the library finally got the book he wanted.

"What is it Butters?" Stan asks, genuinely interested.

Kyle gives Stan a soft look. He's so nice and gentle, always asking Butters what he's excited about despite it probably going to be something lame. It's a trait that generally gets taken advantage of, which ultimately gets them all in trouble, but Stan never changes himself to avoid problems. How Kyle ever managed to deserve Stan when Kyle himself can aptly be described as an asshole is a mystery.

"Craig and Tweek are finally back together!" Butters cheers, tossing his arms in the air.

All that's missing is some confetti, but Butters isn't the type of person so think that far ahead. He probably heard the news and came directly to tell his friends.

"What?" Clyde asks.

At the same time, Kyle demands the same thing.

Everyone looks at Kyle in shock. Stan pinches the bridge of his nose, knowing exactly the reason for Kyle's outrage. Stan listens to all of Kyle's theories on Clyde and Craig. But these theories give Kyle an advantage, since he's also able to know that Clyde's going to be upset by the news. So Kyle easily shrugs them off and looks at Clyde, worried. Clyde looks like he might cry, his eyes are watery and he's trying his best to look positive.

"Are you alright, Clyde?" Kyle questions, putting a hand on Clyde's shoulder.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Butters questions. "This is amazing news! I have to go tell everyone!"

"It's fine," Clyde offers weakly. "I'm just suddenly not feeling well."

Clyde slides out of his seat and almost runs out of the cafeteria. Kyle watches as the doors slam behind Clyde.

"Oh hamburgers," Butters says, unhappy with himself for causing Clyde's mood change.

"What the hell was that?" Kenny asks, looking at Token for answers as Clyde's best friend.

Token shrugs.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he says, returning to his lunch.

Kyle narrows his eyes at Token. He was friends with both Craig and Tweek, he has to know that they weren't really dating. Stan gives him a look, pinching his leg underneath the table.

"This isn't a game, Kyle," Stan warns, voice quiet and serious.

"I know that dude!" Kyle whispers back.

He pushes his lunch away, suddenly no longer feeling hungry. Kyle stands to leave as well, refusing to look at Stan. He thought that Stan of all people would understand. Kyle isn't a bad person for being interested in the Clyde and Craig relationship. And right now, Kyle is actually concerned about Clyde as a friend, not a one of those weird adult 'Creek' people.

"Kyle, dude," Stan says, eyes apologetic.

"I'll talk to you later," Kyle mumbles, leaving the table.

His exit is far less dramatic than Clyde's. The door doesn't slam behind him and he just walks out. When he sees Stan at the end of the day, since Stan is Kyle's ride home, Stan will apologize and Kyle will forgive him. Then Stan will ask Kyle to talk about his Craig and Clyde theory again and get involved in the discussion. It's going to be okay, but right now it just kind of sucks to have no one on his side.

Kyle heads off to find Clyde, knowing that misery loves company and more than anything Clyde will want someone else with him. Clyde is the type of person who thrives off of human contact for comfort. He goes through all of Clyde's normal hideouts in the school: washroom (last stall on the left side), the library (the history section, Clyde is usually reading up on South American history), and finally in his truck (which Roger Donovan lovingly bought Clyde for his 16th birthday).

Walking out into the student parking lot, Kyle remembers that Clyde didn't drive today since his truck is in the shop getting winter tires put on. He caught a ride with Kyle and Stan this morning. Clyde seems to have forgotten this as well, looking lost in the parking lot.

"Clyde!" Kyle calls out.

The other teen turns to face him and Kyle can immediately see that he's been crying. Kyle jogs over to him, feeling a sudden urge to hug Clyde.

"I forgot that you didn't drive today too," Kyle says laughing.

Clyde doesn't see the humour in the situation but lets out a wet laugh. It's self-deprecating and awful and the worst sound, other than Stan crying, that Kyle's ever heard.

"Let's sit down," Kyle offer, trying a different approach.

He puts an arm around Clyde's shoulder and leads him over to the back steps of the school. He feels a bit of tension release from Clyde upon physical contact. Kyle's spent more than a few lunch times sitting on these steps with Stan. Stan is the one who showed Kyle this spot in the tenth grade, using it to get away when everything is too much. Kyle uses it when Cartman gets on his nerves. Now Clyde can use it as his own escape as well.

Clyde collapses on to the steps and crumples into himself once Kyle releases him. Kyle neatly settles himself next to Clyde.

"You must think I'm stupid," Clyde says, voice muffled since his face is buried in his arms.

"I don't think that at all," Kyle tells him, wrapping his arm around Clyde's shoulder again.

Sighing heavily, Clyde leans into Kyle. Weighing significantly less than Clyde, Kyle has to readjust how he's sitting to hold up Clyde's mass. It takes some awkward shuffling and a few apologies from the two of them before they're finally comfortable.

"Do you want to talk about?" Kyle asks.

"Not really," Clyde says. "There's not much to say other than I knew this was coming."

"How so?"

"Well they like dated for 2 years," Clyde says, looking at Kyle with confusion. "Everyone's been talking about how they were bound to get back together."

"But they weren't actually dating," Kyle deadpans.

"You knew?" Clyde questions, mouth open in surprise.

"It was pretty obvious, dude."

"I didn't know until he told me," Clyde confesses and his voice is choked with tears.

"Why are you so upset about it then? If you knew it was coming, wouldn't it be easier?"

There's a voice in the back of Kyle's head telling him to extort Clyde for all the information he has. The desire for Kyle to be right is whispering in his ear. But Kyle pushes is away because Clyde is a friend who really needs him right now. This isn't about Kyle and the rumours, this is about Clyde's feelings.

"Preparing myself and dealing with it are two different things," Clyde says.

"I understand," Kyle says, nodding.

He rubs circles on Clyde's back. Kyle has never really been good at cheering people up other than his little brother, but he's learned a lot from just watching how Stan does it.

"I feel like he lied to me about actually dating Tweek," Clyde says after a few minutes. "Like they were dating when they were younger."

"They definitely weren't, at least not at first," Kyle suggests. "Like they were forced together and then eventually started dating."

Clyde furrows his brow and looks like he's about to start crying again.

"Or maybe they weren't together at all. Maybe just recently Craig realized that he liked Tweek."

"It wasn't recently," Clyde says in a tiny voice.

"Why would you say that?"

Clyde looks around for any other people and then ducks his head, motioning for Kyle to do the same.

"You can't tell anyone," Clyde says with an unusual ferocity to his voice.

Kyle nods vigorously.

"I won't tell anyone."

"Not even Stan," Clyde adds because he knows Kyle well enough that if it isn't implicitly said, Kyle will immediately share every secret he has with Stan.

"Not even Stan, I promise."

Clyde then takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever it is he's going to say. Kyle watches him carefully. It kind of excites him that he gets to be the keeper of Clyde's secret. People don't generally trust Kyle, they trust Stan and Kyle gets it. Stan's easy to trust and it's a well-founded assumption. Stan is rational and very rarely does he ever go off the deep end. Kyle, on the other hand, is hot-headed and prone to making poor decisions.

Even though Kyle has an idea of what Clyde is going to say, it's still exciting to hear him say it. After all these years, Kyle's going to finally get a confirmation if he was right or not. But that's not the most important thing right now. Later when Clyde's feeling better, then Kyle will celebrate his theory being right all along.

"Craig and I sorted dated," Clyde confesses in one quick breath.

"Really?" Kyle asks and the surprise is genuine.

It's like hearing the words from Clyde's own mouth makes all the speculations worth nothing.

Clyde nods emphatically.

"From like the eighth grade to last March," Clyde adds.

"And you broke up because of Tweek?" Kyle says, putting it all together.

Clyde nods, eyes beginning to water again. Kyle hugs him more tightly, feeling an ache in his chest for Clyde. It's obvious that Clyde still cares about Craig; Clyde's just that type of person.

"He was nice to me," Clyde says. "I know it didn't seem like it, but he was. But now it seems like it's all been just a lie."

"I'm sorry," Kyle says helplessly.

He kind of wishes Stan was here. Stan always knows what to say.

Clyde begins to cry, his tears falling onto Kyle's bare arm. It's then that Kyle realizes how cold it is outside. It's late November in South Park with winter just around the corner. However, with Clyde pressed closely against him, Kyle barely feels the cold.

"He said that he didn't want to be with anymore – that he it made him feel guilty," Clyde says wetly. "At the time I didn't know it was Tweek, but now it all makes sense. He felt guilty because he was in love with Tweek the whole time we were dating."

Clyde is full on bawling in Kyle's arms now. Kyle just continues to rub circles on Clyde's back, hoping that the tears will subside shortly.

It takes longer than Kyle expects for Clyde's crying to subside. The minutes drag on as Clyde slowly settles down. Finally, when his sobs have become hiccups, he pulls away. Kyle watches as Clyde awkwardly adjusts his letterman jacket and tries to remove the evidence that he was crying. Class will begin soon and it's unlikely people didn't notice Clyde leaving the cafeteria the way he did.

Both of them jerk their heads up when they hear footsteps. Kyle's relieved to see it's Stan. And Stan is holding Kyle's jacket. Now that Clyde has put distance between them, Kyle is shivering again.

Standing up, Kyle quickly takes the steps to reach Stan's side, who immediately holds the jacket out for Kyle. Offering only a quiet 'thank you' when he takes it, Kyle quickly pulls his jacket on and relishes in the immediate warmth it provides. Most of the heat has come from being pressed against Stan's body.

"I'll take you home, Clyde," Stan offers. "I've got free period right now."

Clyde rubs his face, considering the offer. Kyle really hopes he takes it. Clyde kind of looks like shit right now and doesn't need the rest of the school knowing he cried all lunch period after running out of the lunchroom like he did. No amount of attempted clean up is going to save Clyde from that embarrassment.

"I'll buy some Taco Bell," Stan adds.

Clyde sniffles a little but has perked up considerably.

"Can we go to KFC instead?"

Stan chuckles and nods.

"I'll see you at the end of the day," Stan says to Kyle.

Clyde then stands up and allows Stan to herd him towards the car. Kyle pulls his jacket tighter around his body as he watches them leave together. Stan's got his hand gently pressed to the nape of Clyde's neck, talking in what Kyle knows is a low and calming tone.

Once Stan's car has pulled out of the parking lot, Kyle goes back inside. There's only a few minutes left of lunch break and Kyle can't really afford to be late for history. The teacher refuses to let anyone late to class into the room and everyone is so competitive for the valedictorian spot that they refuse to share the notes.

Fortunately Kyle's locker is nearby by the classroom. So he arrives in the history classroom with quite a few minutes to spare. He sits at the front table beside Wendy and Bebe's, greeting them both.

"Is everything alright?" Wendy asks because she's unnervingly observant and genuinely cares about people.

"Clyde was just sick," Kyle lies. "And when Stan didn't hear anything from me, he came to make sure everything was alright. He's taking Clyde home now."

"I hope it's not contagious," Bebe says, sniffing slightly. "I can't really afford to get sick right now."

"I'll get his homework for him," Wendy says. "He's in my literature class during last period."

"I didn't know Clyde was in AP lit," Bebe says with surprise.

"Oh he's so good at writing, Bebe! You should read his poetry!" Wendy gushes.

Kyle's about to jump in with some comment about Clyde's apparent writing prowess when a set of books drop on the table, taking up the space beside him. Kyle turns to see who it is with surprise. No one ever sits beside him, which Kyle appreciates since that gives him the entire table to himself. People changing up seating arrangements this late into the semester are just being inconvenient since it now requires for Kyle to change his entire notebook layout.

His indignation is justified when he sees that it's Craig. Kyle didn't even know Craig was in this class; maybe he skips a lot or sits at the back of the room. Back of the room is Craig's favourite place to be since it keeps him out of the eye of the teacher.

"Broflovski," Craig says as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Kyle can see the intense dislike Craig has for him coming through, however. Craig's never really been a fan of Stan, Kyle, and the other people they associate it. The Peru incident was kind of the last straw with civility between them. Craig has since mostly ignored them. It's only because of Stan's peace keeping abilities that his friends haven't gotten into some sort of fight with Craig. Kyle is counting down the days until Stan himself finally breaks and socks Craig in the jaw for all the antagonizing that the does.

"Craig," Kyle says, only barely concealing his disdain.

Wendy and Bebe have gone into their own world, gushing about Clyde's poetry. They are completely oblivious to the showdown that's about to take place right next to them.

"Congratulations on your new relationship," Kyle says.

At first, Craig doesn't say anything and just pulls out his notebook. Kyle is actually stunned to see that Craig probably has the most organized notebook he's ever seen. All the information is even colour coded. Apparently Craig takes history seriously. And has freakishly neat printing. It's almost like he typed out his notes.

"Thanks," Craig replies, apathetic as he lets Kyle's attempt to rile him up slide by.

Craig doesn't say anything further, giving no indication as to why he suddenly decided to change seats. Kyle doesn't get a chance to ask as Mrs. Erikson, the stereotypical ancient history teacher, shuts the door. Despite her incredibly strict attendance policies, Kyle enjoys her and her class. In the syllabus, she included a link to a blog, which catalogues every single 'old history teacher joke' that she has ever had. If someone thinks they have an original one, she'll let them drop their worst test mark.

Kyle has read through the blog and it must have thousands of jokes on it. Mrs. Erikson has really been teaching a long time. Most students have given up on ever coming up with a fresh one, but Kyle has just put it to the back of his mind. In his free time, Kyle's been employing both Stan and Kenny to create a fresh joke. It's nearing the end of the semester and Kyle might have to turn to Cartman for help if he wants to enter the 'Blog of Fame.' It's mostly because Kyle wants to beat the other top students at it, since his scores have been near perfect.

He also likes her because Mrs. Erikson really emphasizes the subjectivity of history and manages to scrounge up as many sources as she can to try and paint a full picture.

Mrs. Erikson jumps into her lecture on Dutch history. They were covering Dutch history because Mrs. Erikson had given each person a sheet of paper at the beginning of the semester to write down any specific period of time the student was interested in learning about. Each Friday is the day Mrs. Erikson set aside for these lectures to give a brief snapshot into the topic. Afterwards, she provides a series of sources for further reading. It isn't tested material, but most people in the class are still interested enough to follow up.

Kyle had chosen the history of Jewish people, damn well knowing ever single person will know it is him. It is kind of redundant, since Kyle has known the history of Jewish people since he was a little boy. But most people should understand its history since they're taught the mandatory 'Christian History' in earlier history courses. His topic has yet to be selected and he is actually kind of nervous for the topic to be picked up.

"And that concludes this week's student selection," Mrs. Erikson announces. "Just a reminder that the next text is on Wednesday."

"What's next week's student selection?" Bebe asks.

"The history of the Jewish people," Mrs. Erikson says offhandedly, already tuning out.

All the heads in the class turn to face him and Kyle groans internally. He knew this was going to happen. At least Cartman isn't taking this class. But if he does catch wind of it, Kyle's is going to be put through hell.

"Excellent choice, Kyle," Wendy tells him earnestly because that's what type of person she is.

Curious and progressive. He gives her a tiny smile and then goes about packing up his belongings. Craig hasn't begun to put his things away; instead he's still staring at Kyle. Kyle isn't really in the mood for any sort of bullshit right now. But when is he ever?

"What?" Kyle snaps.

"Can I talk to you?" Craig asks casually like Kyle had been polite to him.

"Um okay," Kyle says, agreeing only because he's caught off guard.

He stops packing up and offers his full attention to Craig. Who, oddly enough, suddenly seems nervous. Craig clears his throat a few times and tugs at the ends of his hair.

"Well?" Kyle says, impatient.

Craig scowls at him. Kyle raises an eyebrow telling Craig that he's not afraid to just walk away.

"Is Clyde okay?" he asks.

The question stuns Kyle. Earlier, he had assumed Craig was a heartless bastard who had never cared about Clyde. Even before that, Kyle had been operating under the assumption of his theory – that Craig is only warm to Clyde. Clyde's confession changed the original assumption and now Craig's question has returned it all back to his first assumption. Craig actually cares about Clyde.

For a brief moment, Kyle considers telling him about what happened at lunch. But he shuts down that thought immediately. Clyde is his friend and doesn't deserve to have his secrets spilled to the person who broke his heart. Kyle isn't about to do that to Clyde.

"Ask him yourself," Kyle spits.

He grabs his belongings and starts to leave the table. Craig just sits there like a wounded animal.

"I can't," Craig says.

It's a quiet and private admission. One that Kyle isn't sure he is supposed to hear.

"He won't answer my calls," Craig then says, a bit louder this time.

"Well that's not my problem," Kyle sneers and he marches off.

Fortunately, that's the only class that Kyle shares with Craig. And if Kyle plays his cards right, he won't ever have to run into Craig in the halls. Kyle's pretty sure that history is the only AP course that Craig is taking. Since all of the courses that Kyle is taking are AP, he can easily avoid Craig and any confrontation.

The rest of the day goes on without incident. Once he's in physics, Kyle gets a text from Stan assuring him that Clyde is okay. Stan got him KFC then drove Clyde out to Stark's pond. They just sat and talked for while before he took Clyde home, leaving Clyde in the care of his father. Stan narrowly made it back to school to arrive in time for his class, but his attendance record isn't the best already so it's not a huge deal.

Kyle's just glad Stan made the choice to return to school instead of going home and doing whatever it is Stan does when is alone. Which isn't often since Kyle is with him like 98% of the time. They've put a rule in place so they don't get sick of each other. It's a period of alone time, which they never bring up for each other. Kyle just studies when he's alone and knows Stan well enough to be sure that Stan just plays Xbox.

When the final bell rings, Kyle finds Stan waiting for him at his locker. He's leaning against it, distractedly scrolling through something on his phone. This is how Kyle liked to picture Stan when they were younger and Kyle thought he was only pining for a straight boy. The school's senior quarterback not wearing his letterman because he loaned it to Kyle, which Kyle 'forgets' to return.

"Hey," Stan greets once Kyle arrives at the locker.

He shoves his phone into his back pocket and looks at Kyle with those blue eyes. This is Stan's 'we should talk' look. It's not Kyle's favourite look and his stomach jumps when sees it. Sometimes Kyle feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, like he's not good enough for Stan. He knows this isn't true, not by a long shot. Every so often the feel creeps back in.

"We should really talk about what happened – at lunch I mean," Stan says, fumbling over his words somewhat.

Kyle sighs.

"I know you're disappointed in me, but I wasn't exploiting Clyde's feelings," Kyle says.

Stan cocks his head and furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Kyle thinks it's a really cute look, but he'd never say that publicly since it'll just embarrass Stan. Even though the resulting look would be cuter.

"I'm not disappointed," Stan says. "Why would be disappointed?"

"Because of my theory and my need to be right? Because I don't care about other people? Because I'm a selfish asshole?" Kyle lists the top three self-deprecating facts about himself.

"Kyle," Stan says softly, his hand dropping to Kyle's shoulder. "You're none of those things. I wanted to apologize because I misunderstood you at lunch. I'm sorry."

"Wait what?"

"You think that you don't care about people and you're a selfish asshole?" Stan asks worriedly.

He ducks his head and gets closer to Kyle, staring at him intently.

"I thought that's what you thought about me," Kyle says, suddenly feeling his entire argument slip away.

Now he just feels very silly.

"You do care about people!" Stan says, jumping into what Kyle has dubbed "Defender Mode." "You practically raised Ike and you're always trying to get people into better situations. Like today you did so well with Clyde – you were there for him and comforted him in his time of need. And don't even get me started on you being selfish, you're like the least selfish person I know."

"But I'm asshole."

"Well you can be," Stan says shrugging. "But that's just one of the many things that I love about you."

Kyle shivers at Stan's tone and proximity.

"You understand me?" Stan asks.

Kyle can only nod, feeling overwhelmed by Stan.

"Let's get out here," Stan suggests.

"Yeah," Kyle manages, throat dry.

XXXXX

Later that day, Stan tells Kyle Clyde had told him that he and Craig dated. It's disappointing, initially, since Kyle had been excited to share a secret solely between him and Clyde. However, things are far better when sharing things with Stan. Who is Kyle trying to kid when he made the promise to not tell Stan? He literally tells Stan everything. Last time Kyle tried to keep a secret from Stan, he broke out into hives because of the stress. Now they were both Clyde's confidants, becoming the protectors of Clyde in those last few months at South Park High.

Kyle talks it over with Stan and decides it would be best to not tell Clyde that Craig had asked about him. It seems unnecessarily cruel to get his hopes up like that. They had made a pact of sorts to keep Clyde as far away from Craig as possible. It isn't that difficult since Craig only makes a real attempt every blue moon. They become more and more spaced apart once he realizes both Stan and Kyle are going to thwart his every attempt.

Kyle and Stan protect Clyde in more aspects than just on the Craig front. Clyde is still sensitive and the butt of many jokes. So Kyle and Stan take it upon themselves to cheer him up or protect him from particularly nasty jokes. Another sore spot for Clyde is the death of his mother, which to counteract, Kyle invites Clyde over so his own mother could smother Clyde with all the excess motherly feelings she has.

So senior year comes and goes with Clyde cementing himself as a permanent friend of Stan and Kyle.

Wendy and Kyle have a bitter race for valedictorian, which nearly ends with them ending their friendship. Stan quickly gets fed up with playing messenger between them and creates a plan to force them together and become friends again. Wendy ends up as valedictorian race since she has a far more impressive resume from her time at school. In the end, Kyle believes that she put together a better speech than he ever could. She is well balanced when it comes to knowing everyone in their graduating class. Kyle just hangs out with same people every day.

At the last party, held at Token's house, everyone is more or less sober. They realize that this is the last time they are all going to be together. Most of the kids are getting out town, even leaving state. Kyle is heading to Princeton, while Stan is heading to Fordham on a football scholarship. It's going to far apart but nothing short of roommates could make up for eighteen years as next door neighbours.

Clyde is heading to Florida, having received a scholarship for his writing talent and to a lesser extent, his athleticism. Kenny is just going to Denver so he could stay close to Karen. Kenny had really pulled himself together in the last two years and had gotten enough scholarships to put himself through college. Kyle is so incredibly proud of Kenny and his goal to become a nurse. Butters is heading to New York as well, hoping to get some formal training for theatre. Token is off to Stanford and hopefully their law program after his undergrad.

They are going to be spread across the country and when they are all going to be together again is unclear. Kyle is confident it would all work out in some way. People from South Park always manage to find themselves back in South Park, no matter how hard they try.

XXXXX

Interlude (between high school to present)

XXXXX

Coming back to South Park is the most difficult decision Clyde has ever made. He knows what the town holds for him. He knows what will happen if he comes back. But after he receives his bachelor's, he is jobless, homeless, and has no money.

It's the only remaining option.

His father still lives there and welcomes his 22-year-old son home with open arms. His old room is still set up exactly how he left it. His father gives him a job at the shoe store – a higher up position. When Clyde isn't working at the store, he focuses on his writing. He put on quite a bit of weight in college and sitting around only made it worse. There was no need to exercise for Clyde since his appearance was not a priority. Being vain had only been a phase when he was younger.

He isn't dating anyone and doesn't have any plans to. He screwed around in college but never really had anything too serious. Mostly the other halves of his romances didn't want anything serious. Clyde fell in and out of love almost daily. There was a time on a bus where he saw a pretty girl and planned out their whole future. By the time he was out of the reverie, she was gone and Clyde never saw her again.

All he really needs is to focus on his writing. But Clyde isn't really sure if he wants to throw away all his freedom and return to South Park. He can get a job easily in Orlando and find a cheap place to live. He wouldn't be able to focus on his writing as much, but he'd be able to be free.

However, Clyde loves writing so much, he gives up his freedom for it. He is the first of his graduating class, of the ones who left anyway, to come back. It makes him feel like a failure. He doesn't have a job or any ability to get one. All he can do is hope his writing is as good as people tell him it is.

Back in South Park, Clyde is friendless and lonely. None of his friends are in town. All of them are continuing their education. Clyde has been invited to some of their graduations. But he doesn't have the money to travel across the country and see them all. Instead he sends them cards of congratulations, apologizing for not being able to make it. Not being able to see his friends makes him cry a little bit now and then. He cries when he realizes that he has to return to South Park. And again when he gets back and realizes it's exactly the same, just lacking the people he actually cares about.

However, coming back to South Park just happens to be the best decision he makes. His time back at home really kickstarts his muse. His first novel is picked up and becomes an international best seller. He is able to move out of his dad's house and get his own apartment. He still works at the shoe store – for an excuse to get out of the house. His new apartment complex has a gym and Clyde reasons if he's going to be a world-renowned author, he wants to look good. There was no way he is looking dowdy or overweight in his headshot. To go along with this, he hires a stylist to redo his entire wardrobe (though he doesn't know how to match outfits).

Okay, so maybe he is still a little bit vain from his childhood. (Or maybe it was just the residual insecurity from constantly being tossed between 'good looking' and 'the second fattest in the grade.')

Realizing all the adventures that he has been on as a child and everything that has happened to South Park, Clyde easily transforms them into a series. His books are primarily marketed as young adult fiction, but the apparent imaginativeness of the books appeal to even adults. Clyde makes a decision to call them a biographical series – which all his readers got a kick out of – to feel better about ripping off South Park's stories.

Once he's established as a writer, Clyde begins to branch out into his more original ideas. These books don't do as well as his autobiographical ones but are still critically acclaimed. In a few years, Clyde has managed to churn a handful of brilliant novels and make a decent living for himself. At this moment in time, he is the most successful member of his graduating class.

His most unpopular book by far is a series of short stories and long poem that allude to Clyde's childhood troubles. From the death of his mom, to the pain of unrequited love and heartbreak, it's by far the most personal and raw piece Clyde's ever written. It's a far cry from Clyde's regular fictional adventure novels. As a result, his editor suggested that he publish it under a pseudonym. No one other than Clyde and his publisher know Clyde wrote the book and no one should care. It barely makes it to second print and never adds to Clyde's royalty cheques.

Clyde doesn't churn out books like Stephen King, but writing is his passion. Picked from drafts written throughout high school and university, the first couple require only editing and consistency. Those are published rather quickly one after the other. Especially when his publisher realizes how much readers love Clyde's stories. The next several novels, including Clyde's originals, take more time to put out due to Clyde starting from scratch. A series of South Park shenanigans, two original stories, and an unpopular anthology. Not too bad, but not enough to provide a stable income

It's at that moment he quits his job at the shoe store and starts working for the local newspaper. It's a far more stable job than being an author and since South Park is so stuck on being the same, journalism is still a profitable media outlet. This way he makes a salary that will ensure he always has enough for rent. Although he technically isn't qualified to be a journalist, the local paper isn't picky on who it hires. They just need writers.

And Clyde considers himself a writer. Sure his pieces are a bit more flowery and not as technical as an actual journalist would write, but they are interesting and solid. Additionally, every Sunday, he has an ongoing story. He releases a 500 word continuation of one of his newest stories. This one will probably never be made into a book, it's too wild for the normal masses but perfect for South Park. When people see him on the streets, they beg him to spoil the next part.

Although he had been initially lonely, Clyde manages to make a few friends with the people who remained behind. Above all is Bebe Stevens, who Clyde had had a massive crush on since she broke up with him in the fourth grade. Even though it had all been a scam, Clyde still pined for her well into high school. It was really only when his heart was broken for the second time that he truly got over her.

Being her friend is great. Bebe is sweet, funny, and surprisingly very smart for someone who remained in South Park. She entered the local police force, but only after some reform. She's one of the top detectives on the force now. Favoured over the veterans for her lack of prejudice and awareness of absurdity.

Through the years, Clyde's friends trickle back into South Park and Clyde stops worrying about loneliness.

First, it's Kenny. After four years of an education and a year working in Denver, Kenny decides it's time to come back to South Park and start taking care of his sister more fully. As a registered nurse he easily picks up a job at Hells Pass Hospital. For a long time it's just Kenny and Clyde, their other friends looking into professional programs and graduate studies.

Two years later, Stan comes back to complete his internship at the local vet with ulterior motives to take over the practice when Dr. Schiffle finally kicks the bucket. The old vet was old when they had been kids. Clyde's scared of the man, thinking it's entirely possibly he sold his soul to the devil to live this long.

Kyle comes back slowly, chasing after his fraying relationship with Stan. He completed a year and half of his residency in one of the country's finest programs, only to find his drive for success pushed a rift between him and Stan. What's ten years away from home? The chief of surgery almost loses it when Kyle decides to end his residency in San Francisco and come to South Park. He has a stellar track record and amazing references. Kyle plans on specializing in cardiothoracic surgery, no less. The return of Kyle dominates the gossip market for weeks. Hells Pass can possibly become a decent hospital with a surgeon like Kyle.

Wendy returns next, inspired by Kyle's willingness to give up his career. But that's not to say she didn't miss her hometown. Clyde mostly thinks that it's because she doesn't want to be one-upped by Kyle. Unsurprisingly, her competition with Kyle took her down a similar path. Wendy Testaburger the pediatric resident coming to South Park has the chief of surgery crying tears of joy.

The last person to return, most surprisingly, is Butters. Twenty-eight years old and only receiving a handful of roles in minor productions in New York. However, it hadn't really worked out. Butters couldn't make himself well-liked enough to get parts. So he returns to South Park and takes up a job as the director at the local theatre. The productions Butters puts on are the best and most glamourous South Park has ever seen.

Token doesn't really ever come back – not permanently anyway. But he visits for extended periods of time and even advertises his practice in South Park. Even though he's never really back in South Park, Token still exists in spirit.

But Clyde's friends are back in South Park and life is pretty damn great.

XXXXX

A/N: Chapter Title: Rumour Has It - Adele

Plot Notes: Kyle ends up turning to Cartman for help with the old people joke. It takes Cartman all of an evening to come up with a new one.

I also want to mention that it's very important to not the first chapter is in Kyle's POV. The remaining chapters are alternating between Craig and Clyde, but this first chapter is written in an outsider POV and you might find events that Kyle is an unreliable narrator.

Also wanted to mention this is completely self-edited, so if you caught any mistakes - please let me know!


	2. one more troubled soul

A/N: Everything about Craig and his car is based off my own car, my wonderful little corolla sport, which at the time of actually posting this... is no longer my car. I now drive an older, and if possible, shittier corolla.

The map of the town is based off of the Stick of Truth/Fractured but Whole. There's some minor details that fall from that canon, but nothing too major. (Also if you can, I'd highly recommend playing the games).

This chapter is one that I really like. I actually like chapters 2-5 a lot and I'm ridiculously happy with how they turned up. Even so much that I love rereading them. Though Craig/Clyde is not a popular pairing and I put way too much effort into this fic proportional to the amount of people who read it, I am still totally happy I did write it. I had a lot of fun creating this little universe.

XXXXX

Ten years later.

Kyle is preparing a patient for an appendectomy when he's suddenly paged to the ER. The page is oddly enough from Wendy, which doesn't really make much sense. The two of them are on completely different services and it's unlike Wendy to share an emergency patient with anyone, let alone Kyle. Although Hells Pass is considerably less competitive than the programs the two came from, Wendy and Kyle still compete like they're in high school.

Turning to the nurse, Kyle asks her to finish before exiting the room. He hurries due to curiosity and the urgency of a call to the ER. When Kyle arrives, the ER is utter chaos. There are patients everywhere and the paramedics are still bringing more in. Everyone is working frantically, trying to triage all the patients and get the ones who need surgery into an OR as soon as possible.

Kyle's somewhat annoyed that he wasn't paged earlier, but then again he was sort of being punished for mouthing off at a visiting cardiothoracic surgeon. He looks around for Wendy and the reason for her page.

"Trauma Room 2," a nurse says as she hurries by.

He immediately takes off. As he gets closer, he can hear Wendy's voice firmly directing the interns and nurses. Without hesitation, Kyle throws the door open. The site before Kyle freezes him in place.

First off all, Stan is sitting quietly in the corner. Distraught and on the verge of tears, Stan is hardly aware of the massive laceration on his face lazily bleeding. At that moment a nurse tries to convince Stan to let her clean it up, but he quickly refuses treatment. Stan's eyes are glued to the patient on the gurney.

The reason they're all in the trauma room is because of Kenny McCormick. Wendy is leading his treatment, calling for gauze to stop the bleeding and for anyone else to help her out. Kenny's legs have been crushed and if he survives this, he'll likely never walk unaided again. Already Kyle can see evidence of severe internal bleeding. Kenny needs surgery.

"All the ORs are booked!" a nurse says, wincing preemptively at Wendy's reaction.

"I need one now!" Wendy snaps. "Come on McCormick, don't die on me now."

"He's crashing!" another nurse shouts.

Kyle feels like he might throw up. He's frozen in the doorway watching as Wendy gets soaked in Kenny's blood. The machines are wailing all around him and everyone is screaming. Kyle needs to do something, he needs to _move_.

"OR 3 is free," Kyle calls out. "Dr. Brooks is up there about to do an appendectomy but I'm sure he'll understand if you bring Kenny up there."

Wendy's face lights up with relief.

"That's the best thing I've heard all day."

Kyle wonders what exactly has been happening in this OR. How long have patients been streaming in for?

"Let's move people!" Wendy orders.

The entire team arranges themselves fluidly and the gurney with Kenny disappears out the door. Kyle can hear Wendy calling out orders for a while longer. Only when he can no longer discern her voice from the rest of the chaos does he speak to Stan.

"They need the trauma room, Stan," Kyle says, hating himself for having to be so pragmatic. "Let's go somewhere else."

Kyle offers Stan a hand, which he takes. It's the only acknowledgement Stan makes that Kyle is there. Stan's skin is colder than ice and his hand is vibrating.

"I'll get your face cleaned up," Kyle says softly.

He leads Stan to an empty room, far away from the ER and the carnage. He'll need to report back to Dr. Brooks sometime soon and inform his appendectomy patient her surgery has been postponed. For right now, Stan is the most important thing.

Kyle sits Stan down on the bed. Stan, completely unresponsive, lets Kyle guide him. His eyes are locked forward but not looking at anything, glazed and empty. There's no doubt that Stan is reliving whatever happened over and over in his head.

"I just need to go grab some supplies, I'll be right back," Kyle promises but Stan doesn't answer.

He does the professional half jog to the storage closet and grabs everything, plus extras, to clean up the cut on Stan's head. When Kyle returns to the room, Stan's eyes flicker up to him. That's a start, at least.

"Hey," Kyle says.

"Hey," Stan finally replies, voice raw and quiet.

Kyle hopes Stan doesn't start crying because if Stan starts crying then Kyle will start crying. It's hard to be a good doctor when you're crying your eyes out. Before Kyle starts the process, he pulls Stan's hand into his own, squeezing it tightly.

"We're going to be alright," Kyle tells him.

Stan looks at him with dubious eyes but Kyle just repeats himself, with more force and conviction. They are going to be okay. They can get through this.

The wound is a clean cut and has stopped bleeding by the time Kyle gets to stitching it up. It'll probably scar but Stan wears his hair in such a way that it'll probably be covered effectively.

"What happened?" Kyle finally gets the courage to ask.

Stan shakes his head. He's angry.

"It was so stupid," Stan mutters. "I hate this fucking town."

Stan has always been more sensitive to the stupidity of South Park. He always escapes from the scams and mass hysteria.

"There was a rabbit on the road," Stan begins. "And because a rabbit is the pope – of course people swerve out of the way. But it was on Main Street and the car crashed into Tom's Rhinoplasty and started a fire that spread to the adjacent buildings. Kenny and I were driving to get lunch when a hysterical woman from the fire ran in front of us. I hit the brakes but that caused another car to hit us and another and another and another. It was so awful."

Stan chokes out a sob and Kyle pulls him into a tight hug.

"Kenny – he shielded me from the brunt of crash, but now he's –" Stan can't finish the sentence.

He buries his face into Kyle's shoulder and his body shakes with silent sobs.

If Kyle had it his way, he'd sit here with Stan all day. Unfortunately, his pager goes off. _Now_ he's needed in the ER.

"I have to go but I'm going to call someone to come be with you," Kyle says. "Wendy'll bring you info on Kenny as soon as it's available."

On his way down to the ER, Kyle plans on pulling into a private room and calling Butters to come be with Stan. Fortunately he doesn't have to as Clyde appears, looking frantic. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair askew, and his clothes are rumpled. He must be falling behind on his deadline for his weekly installment.

"Kyle!" Clyde calls out, looking relieved.

It's clear he cried on his way here. He's probably going to cry again once he's with Stan.

"Stan is in the last room down the hall," Kyle instructs. "I need to get to the ER but I'll visit you as soon as I can."

Clyde nods rapidly and takes off down the hall. Butters would've been the better choice to help Stan out, but Clyde means well. Even if he can't always say the right thing, Clyde does understand grief better than most.

Once in the ER, Kyle puts all of his personal feelings into the back of his mind and jumps in to the fray. People need him. People need Dr. Broflovski.

The shift is grueling and long. Kyle ends up in the OR taking care of a patient with severe blunt force trauma to the chest. It's a surgery Kyle's taken part in many times and it acts as a de-stressor. With a heart in front of him, Kyle can forget everything that exists outside of the operating room. He forgets that Stan and Clyde are probably crying together, he forgets that Kenny is still in surgery and there has been no word on his status.

When all of the surgery patients have been dealt with and the non-surgical patients have been properly cared for, Kyle is finally released. He can't leave the hospital just yet. Stan and Clyde have moved to the cafeteria, making sad attempts to try and eat something.

Both of them brighten a little with Kyle's arrival as he talks about the surgery. The patient survived and will make a full recovery, barring no setbacks. Kyle's favourite part of being a surgeon is when he gets to see a patient leave the hospital.

He forces both Stan and Clyde to eat a bit more, showing them which food available at the hospital is the best. When they're almost finished and Kyle has almost managed to make Stan smile, Wendy appears.

She's still wearing scrubs and an operating gown, looking exhausted. She's not happy. Kyle's stomach drops and he knows what this means. It's a look he's worn many times. Trying to hide the devastation at having lost a patient.

Kenny didn't make it.

Ten years apart. Barely a year back together. Kyle suddenly regrets every moment he spent in school, distancing himself. Creating a new persona for it all to ultimately not matter. He'd give anything to spend another moment with Kenny.

Wendy plays with her hands, trying to get out the right words. Kyle wraps himself around Stan. They all already know why she's here. There's really no need for her to say anything other than for speculation to become reality.

"Several of his organs had ruptured and multiple transplants were needed. They were on their way from Denver but Kenny bled out before they got here," Wendy manages, voice small and childlike.

Clyde rises and pulls Wendy into a tight hug. She clutches at his dirty t-shirt. Her eyes are tightly shut, not allowing any tears to escape.

"I need a drink," Stan finally says.

"Me too," Wendy agrees. "Let me just go get changed."

The three of them wait for Wendy in the lobby of the hospital. Kyle grips Stan's hand tightly but Stan isn't complaining. He's gripping Kyle's hand just as tightly. Clyde stands on Kyle's other side, shoulder pressing against him.

Kenny was their friend. Kyle just spoke to him last night – laughed with him about something dumb. And in a blink of an eye, Kenny is gone.

When Wendy returns, she looks more haggard than before. Her eyes are red rimmed, likely from crying in the residents' locker room. Stan opens himself up to her, wrapping his free arm around her shoulders. She fits against him neatly and naturally.

The four of them step out of the hospital knowing that they'll have to deal with the unfortunate truth that they're never going to see Kenny McCormick again.

XXXXX

Kenny McCormick's funeral has a sense of déjà vu that Kyle can't shake. It's outdoors with a shining sun, despite the circumstances. He and Stan sit in the front row, between Butters and Cartman. Butters is openly weeping, sniffling pathetically into a tiny handkerchief. Cartman is trying his best not to cry, biting his lip and refusing to look at the coffin. Kyle often forgets that Kenny and Cartman considered themselves a team when he and Stan went off together.

Stan tugs Kyle's hand into his lap, staring vacantly at a picture of Kenny. It's kind of ridiculous photo, something that a child would do for their school photography. Kenny's laying down on a grey sheet with his hands cupping his face and his legs kicked up, ankles crossed. Stan has a picture of himself in the same ridiculous pose. Kenny forced Stan to get it taken in a weird attempt to cheer him up after Kyle announced his intentions to complete his residency in San Francisco.

There are an absurd amount of flowers surrounding the coffin. Everyone denies ordering them and Kenny's sister, Karen, said that the florist just showed up with them all. They were under the name of "K. McCormick." Not a helpful hint because every McCormick in South Park had a first name that started with K.

The entire situation feels surreal to Kyle. He can't help but feel they've done this before. However, that makes no sense. People only die once and if Kenny had died before, Kyle would certainly remember it.

The pastor is leading the group through a prayer. Even though Kenny wasn't particularly religious, his will stated that he wanted a pastor at his funeral. Kyle will never understand the oddities about Kenny.

Stan's the only one who wrote a eulogy – another thing that Kenny had specified in the will. It had states that Stan is the best at writing eulogies. Kyle would've believed it except for the fact that Stan has never given a eulogy before.

Just as the pastor is finishing up the prayer, there's a kerfuffle in the back row. Kyle doesn't really have the energy to deal with it, but Cartman angrily whirls around and tells whoever it is to have some goddamn respect. Kyle's never been thankful for Cartman before.

"And here's Stan Marsh with some words about Kenny's life," the pastor says, smiling gently at Stan.

Giving Kyle's hand one last squeeze before releasing it, Stan stands and takes his place at the podium. He pulls out a heavily folded piece of paper from his front pocket. Kyle hasn't even heard the eulogy; Stan has been so tight-lipped about it. Ever since the accident, Stan in general had been closed off. The loss of Kenny was really taking its toll on Stan.

"The thing about Kenny," Stan opens with, "is that every time you thought you knew him, he did something else that changed the entire game. But there were a lot of things about Kenny that were consistent. A lot of things that I admired about him: his willingness to help others and unfailing loyalty. I always knew that I could depend on Kenny for anything. It could be because I needed someone to talk to or maybe I just wanted to get high. Kenny was always on the other end when I called.

"Kenny rarely ever asked for anything in return, making him one of the most selfless people in South Park. I once asked him why never wanted anything. He gave me the most Kenny answer possible just saying ;you've already given it to me.' I don't ever recall giving Kenny anything – just consistently taking advantage of his friendship. I think we all took Kenny for granted and now he's gone."

Stan voice breaks off at the last sentence. He shuffles awkwardly at the podium, gripping at the sides. He's trying so desperately to fight back tears.

"Uh, the day that Kenny died – he saved my life. We were in a pretty bad accident. Kenny shielded me from most of the damage. In the end, Kenny's body couldn't handle the trauma. I just wish I could've thanked him properly before he passed. But I know he's up there, looking down on us and he knows that from the bottom of my heart – I'm so grateful for everything he's ever done for me. And I think the rest of you can agree that you wished you had thanked Kenny more for the things he did for you. Good-bye Kenny, rest easy dude."

Stan says the last bit with his head turned upwards. It makes Kyle smile, Stan's unwavering belief in the afterlife. Sometimes Kyle isn't so sure, but when he sees Stan's faith shining through him, he can't help but believe a little bit too.

Stan steps off the podium and walks over to the coffin, pressing his hand to the wood. Kyle sees a few tears fall from Stan's face and splatter onto the smooth surface. After a few moments, the coffin begins to descend into the ground. Kyle steps forward and pulls Stan into a tight hug. Stan grips him back tightly, fingers grabbing at Kyle's jacket.

"Don't leave me," Stan says.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Kyle pulls Stan off to the side to sit as others come to pay their last respects to Kenny. A few people offer Stan their condolences. Kenny liked to claim that Stan and Karen were his family. It used to make Kyle jealous, the easy closeness Stan had with Kenny. Stan always found his way to Kenny's side when Kyle left him for something. Kyle's relationship with Kenny had also been stiffer and strained. As they grew older, Kyle just learned that Kenny and Stan's relationship was special, like Stan and Kyle's. It was different though, and required no jealousy.

The crowd begins to thin out as they make their way to the wake. Sharon had generously offered to host it at the Marsh family home. Stan isn't ready for that part yet, so Kyle is content to wait until he was ready.

At the very end of the line of people is an unfamiliar face. He is dressed in a designer charcoal suit and his black hair is slicked back. The mystery man steps forward and presses his hand to the coffin like Stan had earlier. No tears come from his eyes but he says a few quiet words before turning and making direct eye contact with Kyle.

"Holy shit," Kyle says.

Craig Tucker gives him the sourest expression he can muster before turning on his heel and marching down the hill, where all the cars are parked.

"Was that?" Stan asks.

"Yeah, dude," Kyle mutters.

"We need to get to the wake," Stan says immediately, standing.

Kyle nods in agreement.

Craig Tucker is back in town and people need to be warned before something goes wrong.

XXXXX

Clyde's been to funerals before. For Clyde, there always something extra that makes the funeral worse than it already is.

The first funeral Clyde attended was for his mother's grandfather. He was six at the time and didn't completely understand what it all meant, other than he was missing school for a week and going on a plane for a long time. For Clyde, it all seemed like a great adventure in Amsterdam with his parents. He'd finally get to learn all about the place his mother was born, before she immigrated to America.

Clyde had never met his great-grandfather, only seeing a few pictures in his mother's photo album. The man who died mattered very little Clyde, regardless of how much he understood about funerals.

But his week in Amsterdam was one of the worst experiences in his life. First of all, many had loved Clyde's great-grandfather. Betsy Donovan was inconsolable most of the trip, mourning the grandfather she left behind in the Netherlands. Additionally, most of the relatives Clyde had never met were uninterested in meeting him. They too, were grieving the loss of a beloved family member.

Clyde's father was in a similar boat as Clyde in this regard, but he actually had met some of Betsy's family before. Clyde's father was also more socially adept than his young son and managed to befriend some adults.

Secondly, Clyde didn't speak Dutch. Not a lick of it. He heard his mother curse under her breath before but that was the beginning of the end of his understanding. All around him, people were chattering in Dutch further isolating Clyde. It happened more than once that someone would come up to him, speaking Dutch only to realize Clyde couldn't understand them. The repeated incident generally ended with Clyde in tears. Neither his mother nor father seemed to notice that their son was completely unable to communicate.

Fortunately, Clyde was young and like a sponge. By the end of his week in Amsterdam, due to complete immersion, Clyde had managed to grasp a good understanding of the language. He spent the rest of his life, solidifying his ability to speak Dutch so he never had to deal with the same situation again.

The second funeral Clyde ever attended was his mother's. The entire funeral, Clyde's mistake of leaving the toilet seat up was repeated. It haunted him and would continue to haunt him for years afterwards. It was hard to ignore his father's blame, as well as that of the rest of the townspeople. Clyde Donovan killed his mother and no one would ever forget that.

He spent days before and days after constantly crying, until his father yelled at him to knock it off. At which point, Clyde attempted to run away from home. Only to get stopped by Sharon Marsh who had seen Clyde, stumbling through the snow with a tear stained face.

Sharon had taken him inside and made him some hot chocolate. She didn't make it the way Betsy did, which made Clyde start crying all over again. He had expected for Sharon to yell at him, like his father had. Everyone had to be sick of Clyde always crying all the time. Surely Stan told his mother Clyde was always sniffling in the back of the classroom and spent his recess in the bathroom, trying to cover up the fact that he was crying.

Instead she had grabbed the seat beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close. Mrs. Marsh's hugs were like his mother's even though she felt different and had an unrecognizable smell. Her hot chocolate was also really good, even if it wasn't the same.

Instead of sending him home, Mrs. Marsh arranged with Clyde's father a sleepover. Stan was really nice about it and willingly shared some pajamas with Clyde. They played video games and watched the new Terrence and Philip together, despite both of them knowing Stan's regular friends were at Kyle's watching it. There was no animosity over it, just Sharon Marsh's caring nature reflected in her son.

Stan even punched Cartman the next morning when he had started to tease Clyde at the bus stop. Kyle was less understanding; annoyed that Clyde had monopolized _his_ best friend's time. It was a fact quickly forgotten after Stan promised that he'd invite Kyle over next time.

But there was no next time since as soon as Clyde was seen getting off the bus with Stan, Craig had gotten in involved.

"Next time come to my house," Craig had said in a frustratingly blank voice.

It was an uncharacteristic offer of generosity from Craig. Something he really only did for Tweek, and apparently now, Clyde. However, Clyde never took him up on the offer since his father forbade him from trying to run away again. Already worried about ruining the only remaining family member he had left, Clyde decided to listen to his father from there on out.

The third funeral Clyde attended belonged to Kenny.

And if there's anything Clyde has learned from the other funerals he's attended. It's that funerals tend to bring people back.

XXXXXX

Clyde's phone is vibrating like crazy in his pocket. Unfortunately, both of his hands are full at the moment. Someone's desperately trying to reach him if his phone is blowing up like this. It's unusual, Clyde rarely receives an excess of text messages.

Clyde has offered to help Sharon Marsh in the kitchen. Clyde can't let her work all by herself with her husband out drinking and Mrs. Broflovski still en route. Since it's a well-known fact that Clyde can't cook work shit, Sharon isn't letting him touching anything that isn't finished. Clyde's main task is presenting the items that Sharon has finished cooking and offering beverages to people.

Currently, he's bringing out a massive cheese platter that has piles of cheese precariously balanced on top of one another. The vibrating from his phone threatens to topple the entire platter. All of Clyde's focus is dedicated on taking steady steps and making it to the table Sharon put out for food.

The moment the bottom of the platter touches the table, there's a knock at the door. Clyde looks around to see if anyone else will answer it but most of the guests are too busy with themselves. It's likely they didn't even hear the knock. Sighing, Clyde makes his way over to the door. Out of the window, he catches a glimpse of Stan and Kyle booking it down the sidewalk.

They're shouting something angrily that Clyde can't make out. Behind them, Mrs. Broflovski is yelling at them – this Clyde understands. Sheila Broflovski is most likely telling them to slow down or they'll get sweat stains on their suits. Sheila's yelled that at Clyde before, which he's somewhat grateful for since he has no idea how to properly clean a suit.

Ignoring the scene on the front street, Clyde pulls open the door and prepares to greet whomever is on the other side. In hindsight, Clyde should've known it was someone he hadn't seen in a long time. If the person had been even the tiniest bit familiar with Sharon Marsh – then they would've walked right into the house. With the amount of people, Clyde could've then successfully avoided them the entire night. If Clyde were a smarter person, he would have picked up the coincidence between the series of texts and Stan and Kyle's frantic race.

Instead, Clyde pulls open the front door and finds himself face to face with Craig Tucker for the first time in over ten years.

The last proper conversation Clyde remembers having with Craig, was when Craig broke up with him. That had quickly devolved into Clyde crying and Craig awkwardly standing there before finally walking away. Dealing with Clyde's tears was no long Craig's issues after that moment.

Craig looks surprisingly good. In high school, Craig was a heavy smoker with poor hygiene and ill-fitting clothing. Now he's well dressed, clean, and probably hasn't smoked a cigarette in years. His charcoal coat is pull up tightly around his neck, exposing the slightest piece of his pale neck. The entire appearance seems so unCraig-like that it's come back around and become entirely Craig.

Clyde is willing to admit this is what he has hoped Craig might look like one day. However, he has also wished Craig's dark eyes weren't so cold. There is a warmth hidden somewhere underneath and it's probably directed at someone who is so unClyde-like. No one would even believe that Clyde and Craig even dated – if they hadn't kept the entire thing a huge secret.

The two of them just stare at each other for sometime. An outsider might assume that they are two old friends shocked to see each other after so long. But between the two of them – Clyde is on the verge of tears and Craig's mouth opens just enough to show his own surprise. It's broken up when Kyle and Stan come barging through, shoving past Craig and flanking Clyde.

"There's something I need to show you," Stan says quickly, leading Clyde upstairs.

Kyle glares at Craig for good measure before following after Clyde and Stan. Stan leads them to his old bedroom – converted to a guest room that only Stan uses. As the last one in, Kyle shuts the door behind him.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kyle asks, moving into Clyde's space.

"Kyle," Stan warns, putting a hand on Kyle's shoulder.

"Just a little shocked, I didn't actually think Craig liked Kenny," Clyde murmurs.

Kyle and Stan share a look that Clyde isn't really sure what it translates to.

"Kenny did have an effect on people," Kyle offers.

"I guess that is true," Clyde says.

They all sit there in silence for a few minutes, waiting for Clyde to settle down. His heart is racing; it feels like it could leap from his chest. No doubt that his whole face has gone red and his eyes look like he's about to cry. Clyde goes through the steps his therapist taught him when he was 10. Due to his constant crying, his father had hired a therapist to help Clyde work through his grief. It had been successful in giving Clyde a route to calm down after he had started crying, but not really stopping the crying from happening all together.

During this time Stan and Kyle are having a completely silent conversation. At one point in time these conversations bothered Clyde but now have become a regular occurrence in his life. They're probably trying to figure out some plan to keep Clyde and Craig separate when they all return downstairs.

Once Clyde deems himself sufficiently calm and steeled for whatever will happen downstairs, he exhales deeply to catch Stan and Kyle's attention.

"I'm going to go down first," Stan says. "And I'll find out where Craig is and what he's doing, so you can avoid him."

"You don't need to do that," Clyde protests.

Kyle gives Clyde a look that he definitely inherited from his mother.

"Fine," Clyde says, huffing and crossing his arms like a petulant child. "Do what you do."

Stan leaves the room without another word, leaving Kyle and Clyde in a somewhat awkward silence. Clyde's mad at the two of them for being so overprotective. Their other friends, often spearheaded by Kenny, liked to joke that Clyde is Stan and Kyle's child with the way they act. Both of them inheriting far too much from their mothers. Clyde realizes, in that moment, his own actions aren't really helping disprove Kenny's jokes.

"You two did a nice job putting this all together," Clyde says.

"It was mostly Stan," Kyle says. "He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, even though he's never had to do deal with a funeral before."

Clyde definitely has no idea where he would start for a funeral. Maybe he'll call Stan up if he ever finds himself stuck on where to start.

The conversation lapses back into silence because despite Clyde's best efforts to be nice, he's still upset with Kyle and Stan. He doesn't want them to baby him – he doesn't need them to baby him. Maybe he needed them in high school but he survived college by himself. Kyle senses his annoyance and stares at him, trying to figure out what to say. Clyde just prays Kyle's next sentence doesn't begin with 'son.'

Fortunately, both of them are saved by Stan's distinct feet clump coming back up the stairs. His arrival is somewhat of an event, as Stan tears open the door. Both Clyde and Kyle jump at his pronounced arrival.

"What happened?" Kyle asks, brows knitting together with worry.

Stan's eyes dart from Kyle to meet Clyde's. The moment they meet Clyde's however, they quickly switch away. A knot forms in Clyde's stomach. This is Stan's 'I pity you' behaviour.

"From what people saw, Craig just stood in the doorway for a few minutes before turning around and leaving," Stan says.

Clyde could've dealt with avoiding Craig for an entire day. He could've even dealt with a forced minute long conversation with him. But Craig just leaving without even saying a word – that's something he can't come to terms with. All his efforts to calm down go to waste as the tears begin to fall. Craig leaving meant something – it meant that everything that Clyde had worked on getting over was for nothing.

Stan moves across the room to sit next to him but knows not to crowd him. Clyde curls himself into a tiny ball on Stan's old bed, wanting to disappear completely.

"What an asshole," Kyle says somewhere in the distance.

Stan makes a low noise of approval.

Eventually, Clyde stops crying but doesn't really want to return downstairs. Stan offers to talk to his mom about Clyde staying the night – Stan will swing by to pick him up in the morning. They coax Clyde into agreeing before heading back downstairs.

Exhausted by the day's events, Clyde quickly falls asleep.

XXXXXX

After Stan drops Clyde off at his apartment the next morning, Clyde has every intention of curling up in bed and hoping that next time he leaves Craig will be out of South Park. Unfortunately, once he plugs in his dead phone a myriad of alerts popped up informing Clyde that he has a deadline in two days. He missed last week's, but his boss understood given the circumstances surrounding Kenny.

Clyde could pull the same excuse again, but his boss is a man with a very short fuse. There are only so many times he'll let Clyde off the hook for grief.

After showering and pulling on a fresh set of clothes, Clyde settles in front of his computer. The story is fairly straightforward and the next installment won't be much work since Clyde has planned in advance what will happen this week. It's all a matter of connecting the dots with some flowery language his readers enjoy.

But looking from his notebook with the plot points to the blank document on his computer, Clyde just can't make himself write. Nothing seems to be coming up, despite knowing what he needs to do.

Clyde shakes his head and cracks his fingers before resettling himself. With his fingers poised above the keyboard, Clyde realizes he's completely lost his muse. There's absolutely nothing coming out – his writing gears have come to a complete stop. The characters, so much like extensions of himself, are no longer speaking to him.

His brain is completely empty.

Shoving himself away from his desk, horrified at the realization, Clyde stumbles out of his office.

"My boss is going to kill me," Clyde mumbles as he drags his hands through his hair.

He grabs his coat off the floor (where he threw it when he got home earlier) and makes the decision to walk to Tweek Bros. The fresh air should help clear his head. Tweek Bros' coffee never fails to get him through a rough spot. Because of the local coffee place, Clyde doesn't even own a coffeemaker. He tried to make his own for a while, but nothing gives him the jumpstart like Tweek Bros.

On the street, Clyde is a storm cloud. People are going out of their way to move around him and give him a wide berth. It's like they know that he's just realized he has a writer's block and his muse decided to run away. As a writer, Clyde doesn't ever really need to leave his apartment. Unless his friends drag him out, Clyde only leaves when either something very bad or something very good happens. Today is one of the very bad reasons.

Arriving at the coffee shop, the pleasant ding of the doorbell and the aroma immediately soothe Clyde's nerves. There's a certain warmth Clyde's empty apartment lacks. Customers smile up at him as he enters and Clyde smiles back. Mr. Tweak really made something special happen within the walls of his coffee shop.

Clyde expects to greet Mr. Tweak at the register – as he always does – but is completely knocked out of his temporary comfort when instead he sees Tweek. Tweek's eyes widen and he looks more distressed at the arrival of Clyde than Clyde is at Tweek's sudden reappearance at Tweek Bros. Tweek hasn't worked at his father's business since high school, after he graduated he had left South Park with Craig – or so Clyde heard through the rumour mill.

"Oh, Jesus!" Tweek screeches and begins to look around for some way of escape.

"Hi Tweek," Clyde says, stilted and uncomfortable. "I didn't think you worked here anymore."

"I lost my job at the post office. They didn't believe me when I told them that the packages were being bugged! All of them! All the letters coming to South Park are bugged!" Tweek shouts, tugging at his apron.

"How long have you been in South Park for? I didn't know you came back," Clyde asks.

"Before the post office I was at the library but I couldn't handle the pressure. It was too quiet! Why was it so quiet?" Tweek goes on.

"But how long have you been in South Park?" Clyde says again.

"Three years," Tweek says. "Why? Who are you working for? What do they want from me?"

Tweek is quickly getting more and more agitated, stirring up a bit of a ruckus. The other customers are watching the interaction with annoyance. Clyde assumes that most of them don't really like having Tweek there in the first place since he disrupts the flow of the coffee shop. However, Clyde doesn't doubt that Tweek knows the coffee shop better than anyone the Tweaks could hire. It would just seem like a waste to hire and train a new employee when they had a son who knew this place like the back of his own hand.

"Calm down Tweek, I just haven't seen you around a lot," Clyde says. "I did see you on the street last month but I didn't know how long you were in town for."

"I'm here to stay," Tweek says, voice dropping to a near whisper and his eyes darting around. "But don't let anyone else know."

"I won't tell anyone else," Clyde promises.

Tweek gives a jerky nod and Clyde sighs in relief at avoiding a Tweek related incident. Tweek then takes his order and goes through making it with a practiced precision. It's remarkable how focused Tweek is when making coffee and how steady his hands are as he passes the cup to Clyde.

"We should catch up some time," Clyde says as Tweek passes him his coffee.

Thankfully, Clyde has enough a grip of the cup because as soon as the words come out his mouth, Tweek recoils backwards. He plasters himself to the machines, staring at Clyde with fearful eyes.

"I thought you hated me!" Tweek says.

"Why would I hate you?" Clyde asks.

Tweek stares at him, mouth open as he tries to formulate his next sentence.

"Because you thought Craig and I were dating!" Tweek blurts.

"Tweek that was eleven years ago," Clyde says, looking around nervously.

Not that he cares if people know that he dated Clyde in high school, but he'd rather avoid being the focus of the weekly gossip. That shit sticks.

"We didn't actual date! It was all fake! Those girls and their pictures!" Tweek goes on.

"It's fine, Tweek," Clyde says. "You were kids."

He thinks about reaching out in an attempt to calm Tweek but decides against it. Clyde remembers the few times people attempted to touch Tweek when they were younger. It never ended well for either party.

But then the door dings and Tweek falls into completely silence. A tiny squeak escapes his mouth and he pushes himself further into the coffee machines. Clyde glances over his shoulder, attempting to be casual but finds himself frozen in place when he sees that Craig Tucker has decided to make an appearance. Apparently God really hates Clyde this week.

"You have got to be kidding me," Clyde says to himself and then turns to Tweek. "I'll see you around Tweek, think about meeting me if you're up to it."

Clyde grips his coffee tightly in his hands and squares his shoulders, planning on just walking past Craig and leaving.

"What did you do to him?" Craig asks as Clyde attempts to walk past him.

"He thinks I hate him because of you," Clyde says with far more venom than he thought he could manage. "Fix it."

Craig doesn't say anything else as Clyde pushes past him and out of Tweek Bros. Feeling considerably lighter, Clyde makes his way back to his apartment. He quickly slams back his coffee before returning to his desk. Staring at the blank document and then at his notes, Clyde realizes that he still has no idea where to start.

"Goddamnit," he mutters, slamming his head onto the keyboard.

XXXXXX

Clyde jerks awake from a banging at his front door. He looks around, temporarily unaware of the source of the noise. On his computer screen, there is a jumble of letters from pressing his head against the keyboard. The sun is no longer shining outside, instead just beginning to set.

The knocking at his front door becomes more insistent, forcing Clyde to get out of his chair. His body is stuff and cramped from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position.

"I thought caffeine was supposed to wake you up," Clyde says, picking up the empty Tweek Bros cup.

He throws it in the trash bin on his way to the front door.

"I'm coming!" he yells as the knocking turns to outright pounding against his front door.

Clyde pulls it open to reveal Kenny grinning at him. Stan is standing sheepishly behind him and gives Clyde a small wave. Both of them are still wearing their work clothes. Kenny probably took off from his shift at the hospital, dragged Stan from work before driving over here. Clyde's probably going to end up leaving the house looking like shit too.

"What do you want?" Clyde sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Dude you've been locked up in here for like two weeks. We're going to drinking!" Kenny announces.

"I missed last week's deadline, I really need to get some work done," Clyde protests.

"You've definitely been working hard," Kenny says, sarcasm evident in his voice. "I can see it all over your face."

"What?" Clyde says.

He steps back to look at himself in the mirror he has hung up in his entranceway. The keys from the keyboard have left marks all over his face.

"Goddamnit," he sighs. "Let me get my coat."

Twenty minutes later, Clyde finds himself at Skeeter's crammed between Kenny and Stan.

"When's Kyle getting here?" Clyde asks.

"Probably not for at least another hour," Kenny says, checking his watch. "He got stuck with charting for mouthing off to an attending."

Stan rolls his eyes in exasperation. It would have more effect if Kyle was actually there but Clyde has long thought that there is some sort of psychic link between Stan and Kyle. No doubt Kyle is somehow aware of Stan's fond disapproval.

"Did you know Tweek has been back in South Park for four years?" Clyde then asks.

"Really?" Stan says.

"He was working at the library," Kenny adds.

"He got fired from that job. And then from the post office. He's back at Tweek Bros," Clyde says.

"I heard that Mr. Tweak was thinking about retiring from my dad. It makes sense, since Tweek knows the business best," Kenny says.

"Poor Tweek. He really hates that place, it's no good for him," Stan says, shaking his head.

Stan has his pity look on, eyes soft and avoiding everyone's gaze. Clyde really hates when he gets that look.

"He's good at it though," Clyde says. "Like a real pro."

"Maybe making coffee is hereditary," Kenny jokes.

"If it worked like that, I'd be interested in rocks," Stan says, crinkling his nose in disgust. "And Clyde would still be working at his father's shoe store."

"Probably the owner by now. Dad's looking for a replacement," Clyde says. "But back to Tweek – did you know that he thinks I hate him?"

"Because of Craig?" Stan says.

"Yeah and when I questioned him on it he started freaking out, saying it was all fake and going on about the girls who kept drawing pictures of him. Oh and then Craig showed up and asked me what I did to him."

"Wait what?" Stan says, eyes going wide.

Clyde groans. He tried to mention it casually and prevent Stan from going into his protective mode. Hopefully by the time Kyle shows up, Stan will either have forgotten (unlikely) or calmed enough to prevent Kyle from flying into his overprotective mode (very likely).

"Oh Papa Marsh is here now," Kenny teases, jabbing at Clyde's ribs with his elbow.

Clyde bats him off and takes a petulant drink from his beer to prepare for Stan.

"What did you do? Are you alright?" Stan asks.

"I told him that Tweek thinks I hate him and it's Craig's job to fix it. Then I left for home. I'm completely fine, no tears at all."

"Your little boy is growing up," Kenny says, wiping a faux tear from his eye and putting his other hand on Stan's shoulder.

"Good job, Clyde," Stan says, pride radiating from him like he actually is Clyde's father.

"Yeah it was pretty great. I wish I could've captured Craig's face on camera," Clyde says.

Kenny nods approvingly.

"So why is Craig in town anyway?" Stan asks as he takes a sip of his beer. "I mean he wouldn't have just shown up out of the blue like this."

"Looked like he was visiting Tweek," Clyde says. "I don't think they actually dated, but Tweek did leave South Park with him so they're probably still friends."

"Craig just lives in Denver," Kenny adds. "It's not far, I bet he comes to visit Tweek all the time. I think Tweek was working as a file clerk at same university that Craig works at. He cited that it was too much stress and came back to South Park."

"You talk to Tweek?" Stan says, surprised evident in his voice.

"We run into each other when he comes to my parents' house to pick up the local ingredients for the coffee. He seems more relaxed than before."

"Craig's only in Denver?" Clyde says, stuck on that one fact.

"Yeah he's a frumpy history student. I think he's working on his PhD in some obscure Peruvian history," Kenny says before taking a long draught of his beer.

"No shit," Stan says, laughing in disbelief. "And he led us to believe he hated Peru."

Clyde looks at Kenny through narrowed eyes. He seems to know a lot about Craig's personal situation. It's likely he has something to do with Craig actually being in South Park again as well. As far as Clyde knows, Craig had plans to leave South Park and never come back – not even to visit the family he was never particularly close with. It's completely out of character for Craig to just come back, even to visit Tweek.

Kenny seems to catch on to Clyde's suspicion and smoothly transitions the conversation to the high school girls that are fawning over Stan.

"Please don't bring this up," Stan groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

If Stan wasn't so in love with Kyle, he'd have the pick of litter. It seems most women are willing to try and get a piece of Dr. Stan Marsh, the kind hearted veterinarian. But the most determined and open about their affections are the high school girls. They keep finding excuses to come visit Stan at work and talk to him, some shyly giggling as he works and some outright flirting with him.

After Dr. Schiffle finally retired and passed the local veterinarian clinic to Stan, Stan partnered with the South Park Animal Shelter to help deal with the stray animals of South Park. Dr. Schiffle had gained the nickname 'The Euthanizer' for his unsympathetic views on stray animals. It had nearly broken Stan, who had been threatening to stop his internship and move to Denver. Since Kyle had been in LA at the time, it had been up to Kenny and Clyde to convince Stan to stay. The work was mostly done by Kenny, but Clyde had there too.

With the South Park Animal Shelter, Stan started a program to help neuter and spay stray animals as well as giving them a full check up, complete with shots. A citizen just had to bring a stray animal to Stan and pay something – Stan would cover the rest. The money came straight from Stan's savings, which is currently a hot topic between Stan and Kyle.

Kyle isn't making great money as a resident at Hells Pass and he doesn't need a reminder of the position he left behind in LA. With Stan using his savings to rescue stray animals, the two of them are just barely scraping by. Kyle nor Stan want to move into their parents' basement and are doing their best to make it work, but it doesn't stop them from arguing about it constantly.

The high school girls don't really help. Kyle (and everyone) knows that Stan is too good of a person to ever try and sleep with a teenage girl. But it doesn't help the annoyance he gets from knowing a bunch of teenagers are fawning over his boyfriend. The girls take advantage of Stan's program by capturing stray animals and bringing them to the vet. Stan cares more about the animals than the girls, so he never turns them away. He has managed to get some of the girls to put more of their money into the program. With a classic Stan Marsh smile he could probably convince them to foot the entire bill. Stan's just not that type of person though.

"Come on Kyle's not here so he won't pick a fight. I just want to know if they're getting bolder," Kenny says.

He's prodding at Stan's arm with the bottom of his beer bottle. Stan stares forlornly at own empty bottle. Clyde slams back the rest of his and signals for another round.

"You were so eager to tell me everything last weekend!" Kenny says.

"You got me drunk and took advantage of my vulnerable state," Stan says but there's no real bitterness to it.

"Just spill the beans, Marsh," Clyde says.

Stan sighs and rubs his thumb over the bridge of his nose.

"I think I might get security for the clinic," Stan admits.

Kenny whoops in victory, hands gripping the edge of the table as he leans forward and gets into Stan's face.

"Holy shit! Really? What are they up to?"

"I just hate being watched and it's nearly impossible to keep them out of the check-up room. I mean, I don't have a policy about owners coming to support their pets but I wish I could keep them out," Stan blurts.

"I should've been a vet," Kenny says. "All I get is the old ladies as a nurse."

"You're disgusting, Kenny. They're basically children," Stan says.

"What do you take me for, Stan? I just like being fawned over," Kenny says. "I wouldn't actually sleep with one – even if they were legal."

The waitress comes with their beers and Clyde directs her to put it on his tab, ignoring both Kenny and Stan's protests. Neither of them are really in financial situations to be spending excessive money on alcohol. Clyde only has himself to support, while Kenny is taking care of his sister and mother and trying to get their house fixed up. Stan and Kyle are almost out of the woods, but student debt can be a real dick. People from the surrounding towns are starting to come to South Park to see a vet, as Stan's reputation as a generally nice person is spreading around. Apparently cranky old vets like Dr. Schiffle are really common.

"I actually think one girl stole her neighbour's cat," Stan says once the waitress has left. "The cat didn't have a collar but she looked exactly like the Stoley's."

"Uhura," Clyde says, nodding. "I like that cat."

"When have you been to the Stoley's?" Kenny asks, confused.

"I lived like two houses down from them. The cat followed Kevin to the bus stop every day. I'd feed her some of the tuna from my sandwich," Clyde replies shrugging. "She's probably old as all hell by now though."

"Fuckin' Kevin Stoley," Kenny mutters shaking his head. "I wonder what ever happened to that kid after graduation."

"No you don't," Stan says not unkindly, just stating a fact of truth.

Kenny shrugs and takes a long drink of his beer. He says something about a 'new liver,' which Clyde doesn't really understand but doesn't really question it. Most things that Kenny does are mysterious to Clyde.

The conversation lapses into safer territory, away from Stan's admirers and Craig's arrival in South Park. There's currently an issue with the church about the Pope going missing and as usual, South Park is at the center of it. Unsurprisingly, Stan is the eye of the storm. Both unnervingly calm and level headed but intricately connected to the issue.

"Are you talking about that fucking rabbit again?" Kyle says arriving at the table.

His face is pink from the cool weather outside and he looks tired. It must have been a long day at the hospital. Before unwinding the scarf from around his neck or removing his coat, Kyle reaches over and grabs Stan's beer, slamming the rest of it back. Hating the taste of beer, Kyle's face scrunches up in disgust but it seems like he just needs to get some alcohol into his system.

Clyde takes that as his cue to order another round of drinks, making sure to point out that Kyle has arrived. The waitress knows their orders by now. Three of the cheapest beers available and wine for Kyle. Kyle's not an alcohol snob, but he just vastly prefers the taste of wine. Both Clyde and Stan associate wine too much with the church and the long hours they spent trapped within its walls.

"Snowball's a great bunny," Stan says defensively.

"Whatever dude," Kyle says.

He settles in next to Stan in the booth, their bodies fit together like a matched set. Clyde use to be jealous seeing how absolutely perfect they are in every way. Now, he's gotten to use to his perpetually single life.

"Okay now that Daddy Kyle's here," Kenny says, leaning in conspiratorially. "Craig Tucker has been sitting at the bar for the past half hour, sneaking glances at us. Or more specifically Clyde."

"What!" Kyle shrieks, his voice rocketing upwards and catching the attention of mostly everyone in the bar.

Including Craig, who Clyde makes a second of awkward eye contact with before he drops his head to the table. It makes a satisfactory 'whump' noise that has Kenny clapping him on the back.

"I hate you," Clyde mumbles.

"That's just because you're Dads' new favourite. Older sibling envy," Kenny says.

Clyde tilts his head, having to peel his forehead from the sticky table surface, to glare at Kenny. Kenny seems mostly proud of himself.

Neither Stan or Kyle are paying attention to this. Stan is attempting to rein Kyle in from demanding that Craig leaves the bar. But when Clyde pulls himself up from the table, Craig is gone with only a few bills occupyinh the spot where he sat. He feels a little bad for Kyle making such a scene that it forced him to leave.

"He has every right to be here to Kyle. He's not hurting anyone," Stan says.

"Like hell he does! What gives him the right to come waltzing back into South Park like this?"

Kenny is quite pleased at himself for getting everyone all stirred up. He thrives on chaos, something about the situation he grew up in. What Kenny does is mostly harmless, so they let him get away with it. But that doesn't stop them from getting annoyed as hell when he does it.

"Kyle, Clyde told Craig off today," Stan says as a final effort to stop Kyle's rage.

It's a risky shot. Either Kyle will be entirely pleased that Clyde did as such or he'll fly into a rage that Clyde was even put in the position in the first place. The over-protectiveness Kyle inherited from his mother is unpredictable just like Sheila Broflovski.

"Really?" Kyle says, suddenly calm again.

That's the Jersey in him. In a rage one second and back to complete serenity the next. Clyde just thanks his lucky stars it worked.

"You'd be so proud of him," Kenny chirps, wrapping his arm around Clyde's shoulders.

Clyde shoots him a dirty look but doesn't make a real attempt to shrug him off. Kenny's right, in his strange way, they kind of are a family. Long before Clyde was adopted into the group, it was a well-known fact that Kyle, Kenny, and Stan considered each other family. When support from your own blood was variable due to the shenanigans in South Park, the three boys found they could really only rely on each other.

Kenny had been Kyle and Stan's 'first' child if Clyde really wanted to go along with the metaphor. Clyde had brought this up, drunkenly, at one point in the past. Kenny got dramatically upset and told Clyde to remember their oldest brother – the egg. Clyde dropped the topic then and there and hasn't brought up his musings since.

Obviously, Clyde felt that Kenny deserved as close to a real set of parents as he could get, since his father left town and his older brother fell of the radar. Carol McCormick could hold a steady job, but was prone to occasional lapses in judgment. Kenny is trying to put Karen through school on his nurses' salary. Kenny had to be the parent when he lacked real parents, which is unfair at best. Stan and Kyle watch over him like a hawk, picking him up when he's down and supporting him when he needs it. Normal friends would do this too, but considering their bond Clyde thinks everything runs deeper between the three of them.

Clyde is obviously their next one, brought into the fold by Kyle and easily fell under Stan and Kyle protective wings. They are somewhat parental to him. It reminds Clyde of a saying that people do their best parenting before they have any children. While Clyde had two very good parents, they couldn't follow him to school nor into his adult life. That's where Kyle and Stan jumped in. Personal champions in high school – Kyle didn't just cheer for Stan in football during senior year – and now constant supports in his adult life. He's glad to have them, even if he's embarrassed by Kenny's, who has openly embraced the two as his pseudo parents, constant teasing.

"It was pretty great," Clyde admits. "I didn't even cry."

Kyle smiles at him.

"I'm glad to hear that Clyde," he says and then presses his hands on the table. "None of us are working tomorrow and I had a shitty day, so we're getting wasted!"

The waitress arrives at the moment of Kyle's declaration with the next round of drinks. Kyle eagerly orders a round of tequila for the four of them. Stan groans just a little bit. Drunk Kyle is fun, but hungover Kyle is a nightmare. Maybe Clyde will crash on their couch and help Stan take care of Kyle tomorrow. He pushes the idea away knowing he has work to do.

The night quickly disappears as more alcohol is consumed. Clyde forgets all about his deadline – now tomorrow. Midnight has come and gone. They stay until last call as they usually do and would've probably stayed longer if Stan didn't feel so bad about making the waitress wait for them to leave so she could go home. Even completely hammered, Stan Marsh was still the nicest guy you'll ever meet.

Kenny often claims to have the highest tolerance of them all, but is far gone if the glassy look in his eyes is any indication. Kyle is completely blasted, having passed out on Stan's shoulder about an hour ago. Stan gets pink when he's drunk but holds his liquor on par with Kenny, Clyde knows the half reason why but writes it off to being the son of Randy Marsh.

As for Clyde, he's somewhat shaky on his feet. He's definitely going to have a killer headache in the morning, but not enough to impair him for the entire day.

"I'm calling a cab," Stan says, mostly to Clyde. "Do you want to come home with us?"

They're all standing outside of Skeeter's. It's getting cold in South Park and Clyde would've liked to wait inside, but Stan was right. The waitress and bartender deserve to go home without a hassle. Both Kyle and Kenny have plastered themselves to Stan. Kyle's half asleep and requires support, but Kenny is there because Stan is a furnace.

"I can walk," Clyde says. "I only live a couple blocks down."

The new development where Clyde lives is a bit of a walk, but a pleasant one. The cool fall air might help him sober up a little bit and possibly get his creative flow back on.

"Just call me when you get home," Stan says, knowing better than to argue with a drunk Clyde.

"You got it," Clyde says.

He still hangs around until the cab arrives and helps Stan package Kenny and Kyle into the back seat. As Stan gives the cab driver instructions, Clyde considers just jumping into the backseat and heading to the Marsh-Broflovski apartment. It wouldn't be that bad sharing the pullout with Kenny. Sure he's a clingy sleeper but Clyde likes having other people close. The deadline appears in his mind, angrily reminding him to get his work done.

"Call me," Stan says again. "If I don't hear from you, I will come over and wake you."

"I will," Clyde says, shuddering at the memory of a very drunk and very annoyed Stan Marsh at his door at 5 in the morning.

Stan nods once and says a few more words to the cab driver before they drive off. Kenny waves at him drunkenly from the window, which Clyde barely has the chance to return before they zip out of the parking lot.

Just as Clyde takes his first steps away from Skeeter's, the exterior lights shut off and envelope him in complete darkness. Most of the town is dark at this time and its distance from any major city gives South Park citizens the best view of the stars.

"Moonlight will be enough," Clyde assures himself as he begins to walk.

His apartment complex is around one of the tallest buildings in South Park, so it shouldn't be that hard to find – even if he does get lost. And if he fails to make it home, Stan won't rest until he finds him. It's a reassuring thought, but Clyde doesn't want to worry Stan unnecessarily.

Ten minutes later, Clyde knows that he's somehow lost. A culmination of the alcohol and the darkness completely destroyed the mental map of South Park that Clyde developed throughout his lifetime. Now he's just wandering around in the cold, unable to remember calling a cab is an option.

After five more minutes of walking aimlessly, trying to discern where he is from the dark shop fronts, Clyde starts to cry. He's cold, tired, and the forgotten stress of having to submit his next piece later in the day is starting to return.

The hot tears help to warm up his cold cheeks, but quickly cool down and freeze onto his chin. It's not an unfamiliar state for Clyde to be, except for being drunk. Finding Clyde with tears frozen onto his face is just another part of living in South Park.

A sudden introduction of light onto the street temporarily blinds Clyde. When Clyde opens his eyes, he realizes he's somehow wound up by his old house – not the one his father still lives in but the red one in the older (and nicer) development of town. This house is much larger and Clyde's father had said something about downsizing – they moved when Mr. Donovan started his own business as a shoe salesman and quit his job as a geologist. They simply didn't have enough money to manage the upkeep of the large, old house.

However, the house has been empty for sometime after Mr. Jefferson and his son, Blanket, moved out of it. The 'For Sale' sign is ancient, beginning to fade and Clyde is pretty sure that the real estate agent doesn't even work in South Park anymore.

When he was much younger, Clyde often dreamt of returning to this house. He associates a lot of negative things with the house they ended up moving into. The death of his mother and Craig Tucker – who despite Kyle and Stan's best efforts was still Clyde's neighbour and they came into silent and awkward contact regularly in senior year. Subconsciously, Clyde must've wanted to return to this house for the happiness it held in his mind and not the empty, messy apartment that Clyde will lose if he misses another deadline.

Staring at his old, empty house Clyde doesn't notice the source of light getting closer and closer until it's stopped directly behind him. The sound of a window rolling down, ice cracking as the seal is broken, breaks Clyde's train of thought. He spins around and once again comes face to face with Craig Tucker.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Clyde asks, taking a few steps forward.

"I decided to take a drive around town," Craig says like it's absolutely normal to just be driving around South Park at some ungodly hour. "At this time, I won't be stopped and bothered by people."

"That's so like you," Clyde says and hopes if comes off rudely but knows that he meant it fondly.

"Are you drunk?" Craig asks, leaning across the passenger seat to get a better look at him.

Clyde bats at the air and takes a step back. It doesn't really help his case.

"You look like a mess. Get in, I'll drive you home," Craig says.

On principle, Clyde should say no. But he's tired, cold, and he's spent the last 20 minutes walking in the completely wrong direction. What should've only been a 20 minute walk, will come close to an hour. If Clyde walks.

"No funny business," Clyde says, narrowing his eyes at Craig.

Craig rolls his eyes as he unlocks the door. As Clyde gets in, Craig turns up the heat for Clyde. He lowers the fans on his own side so they'll be higher of Clyde's. Clyde tries not to think about the gesture.

"Where do you live?" Craig asks.

At that moment, Clyde's phone begins to ring. He pats down his body to find it and pulls it from his coat pocket with a tiny but triumphant cry. That immediately dies down with he notices the call is from Stan. Ignoring it would just cause an even worse problem, so Clyde presses 'talk' and prepares for the storm.

"Where are you?" Stan demands.

Behind the slight slur in his voice, the anger, and the annoyance of having to call Clyde instead of sleeping, there's worry. Stan's care for Clyde always gets to him. Due to Clyde's current vulnerable state, he might start crying again.

"I got lost," Clyde mumbles like a shamed child.

"Do I need to come get you? Should I call you a cab? Is this like a town wide search epidemic?" Stan asks.

"It's fine, I just ended up by my old house – the Jeffersons' old one now. Don't worry, someone found me and is going to drive me home."

"Who is that?" Stan asks and Clyde can hear Stan's suspicion.

Clyde gives Craig a sidelong glance. The other man is flicking through messages on his phone – deleting most of them without even reading them. He's seemingly disinterested in Clyde's conversation, but Craig knows that Clyde knows better than to fall for his apathy.

"It's Craig, he was out for a drive and found me."

"…Okay. As long as you get home," Stan says after a long pause and an inner battle.

Thankfully, Stan can't drive because he's still drunk so Clyde doesn't have to worry about Stan driving out here to have an all out brawl with Craig.

"Don't forget to call me when you get home."

"I won't. Bye."

"Bye."

Clyde hangs up and shoves his phone back into his coat pocket.

"Was that the mother hen?" Craig asks, putting his own phone away.

"It was just Stan, he was worried because I hadn't called him yet," Clyde explains.

Craig makes a noise that Clyde isn't sure if it's positive or negative. But he's pretty sure that Craig had meant Kyle with the mother hen comment. Clyde fidgets in his seat and remains silent, unsure of what to make of the entire situation.

"So where do you live?" Craig asks, annoyance shining through his mask of apathy.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," Clyde says and recites his address for Craig.

The drive to Clyde's apartment is in complete silence. Only the heater's dull roar is making noise. Apparently, Craig doesn't believe in listening to the radio, which has been turned off since before Clyde's arrival in the car.

As the apartment complex comes into sight, Clyde starts looking for his keys. He searches through all of his pockets for them. Groaning, he realizes that they must've fallen out of his pocket at Skeeter's when he was either taking his jacket off or putting it back on. Clyde really needs to listen to Kyle and get a jacket that has pockets that can be completely closed.

"What is it?" Craig asks, bringing the car to a stop just in front the walkway of the Clyde's building.

"I left my keys at Skeeter's," Clyde says.

Craig sighs.

"And everyone has probably already gone home," Craig says. "I'm not going to let you freeze, where else can I take you?"

"Stan and Kyle's," Clyde says automatically, but by the time he's listing their address Craig is frowning deeply.

"That's on the other side of town," Craig says. "My hotel is just down the street, I'm not driving all the way over there just to come back."

"What are you suggesting then?"

"You're not really that dense," Craig says, somewhat snappish like he's annoyed at himself for thinking of this idea. "My hotel has a second bed, I'll drive you back to Skeeter's in the morning."

"Fine," Clyde says.

He's not really happy about the idea but he's tired and just wants to go to sleep.

Craig puts the car back into drive and was absolutely correct when he said his hotel is just down the street. It's the nicest hotel in South Park and Clyde had been forced to listen to its construction for several months. Now that it's open he just has to deal with the constant stream of tourists driving by his building.

Once the car is parked, Clyde follows Craig into the hotel and up to his room. The interior of the hotel is much nicer than anything South Park could really offer. Tourists arrive, realize the hotel is the only nice thing about the town, and then leave before the town turns on them for being outsiders.

The man at the counter greets them with a tired smile. Clyde smiles back and gives him a tiny wave – he's seen the man around town before. Craig ignores them both, shoulders tense, as he stalks over to the elevator. The hotel room is on the fifth floor and offers a modest view of the surrounding mountains of South Park. Clyde's apartment is near the top floor of his building and boasts one of the best views of the town and it's surrounding area.

"You can use that one," Craig says pointing to the bed closest to the windows.

"Thanks," Clyde says.

Neither of them move, just sort of standing next to each other in the entranceway of the hotel room. Clyde wonders if Craig is thinking about how crazy this whole situation is as much as he is.

But Craig doesn't say anything, he steps forward and heads directly to the bathroom. Even with Craig no longer in the direct vicinity, the tense air still remains. Clyde makes his way to the bed offered to him and sits on the edge. He pulls out his phone and calls Stan.

"Hello?" Stan answers, voice thick with sleep.

"Hey," Clyde says.

"You're home? That's good."

"Not really," Clyde says awkwardly. "I left my keys at Skeeter's. I think they fell out of my pocket."

"Get a new jacket dude," Stan says. "So where are you?"

"Craig's hotel room! But he has a second bed and it's all going to be okay," Clyde says quickly.

"Alright," Stan says, just giving in to Clyde because he's far less hotheaded than Kyle. "Don't do anything stupid. Do you need a ride tomorrow?"

"Nah, it's fine, Stan. Go back to sleep," Clyde says and he can hear Kyle waking up in the background.

"Night, Clyde," Stan murmurs and ends the phone call.

Clyde sets an early alarm for the morning even though it only gives him a handful of hours to sleep. He cringes thinking about having to write tomorrow. Writing on small amounts of sleep usually ends in a jumbled piece that requires a hefty amount of editing. After setting his phone on the bedside table, Clyde pulls off his shoes and jacket, tossing them onto the floor.

Curling up under the stiff hotel sheets is the most satisfying thing that's happened all day. It's warm and comfortable and Clyde finds himself forgetting that he's currently staying in Craig Tucker's hotel room.

When the bathroom door opens, Clyde is already half asleep. Craig putters around the room, getting ready for bed. He makes a noise of annoyance and crosses the room. As he does so, he trips over Clyde's jacket and shoes. A garbled noise of shock and a hushed 'shit' come from Craig before silence returns. There's some shuffling so Clyde assumes Craig picked up his things and moved them. Finally, Craig shuts the blinds, apparently his original task, and heads back to his own bed.

Clyde falls asleep to the sound of Craig settling himself into bed.

XXXXXX

The alarm goes off but Clyde's already awake. He's been awake for about ten minutes with a massive headache, staring at the glass of water and aspirin that's right beside his phone. Clyde tries to rationalize that it might be a hangover induced hallucination? Do those even exist? But the reality is staring him in the face. There is no other person to set them there, other than the currently missing Craig. Before leaving for wherever he went, Craig must've left it for him. Once again, Clyde forces himself to ignore anything that might be behind the gesture.

Clyde jumps and scrambles to shut of the alarm, nearly spilling the glass of water in the process. After that, he grabs the aspirin and the water, slamming it back hoping the relief comes quickly.

Just as Clyde gets out of bed, the door swings open and Craig enters. He's bundled up in the charcoal coat that he could button all the way up his neck but chooses not to. It frustrates Clyde to no end for reasons he refuses to admit to himself. In one of Craig's hands is a tray holding two Tweek Bros cups and in the other is a bag marked with the same logo.

Clyde stares dumbly as Craig sets everything down to peel off his jacket. Underneath, he's wearing a loose cotton t-shirt that looks like he probably slept in it. Clyde's theory is furthered when he notices Craig's sweatpants.

Craig got him breakfast. In his pajamas.

"Here," Craig says, offering the coffee and the bag to Clyde. "I asked Mr. Tweak what you usually order."

"Thanks," Clyde says, quietly accepting the bag.

He looks inside to find a breakfast sandwich.

Craig shrugs and grabs his own coffee from the tray. Afterwards, he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls something out.

"I stopped by Skeeter's," he says as he tosses Clyde's keys.

They land softly at Clyde's side. Clyde stares at them for a long minute before looking back at Craig.

"You didn't have to do that," Clyde says.

Craig shrugs.

"It was on my way."

Clyde wants to point out that Tweek Bros and Skeeter's are on opposite ends of town from each other. Tweek Bros is down the road from the hotel. Skeeter's is across town.

They drink their coffee in silence, both of them sitting on their respective beds. It's oddly calm and not tense, like Clyde would've expected if someone had told he'd be drinking coffee in Craig's hotel room yesterday. They're just two friends enjoying a drink together.

"I should get going," Clyde says once he's finished his coffee and the breakfast sandwich. "Thanks for everything."

When Clyde stands, Craig stands with him. They both just stare at each other for a few seconds, until Clyde moves to grab his jacket and shoes. Both of which are now neatly placed inside the hotel room's tiny closest. Craig watches him the entire time, eventually following him to the door. Clyde feels the heat of Craig's gaze on his neck and does his best to not appear self-conscious.

"Thanks again," Clyde says once he's stepped out of the hotel room.

"No problem," Craig says, leaning against the doorframe.

"So I guess, I'll see you around then," Clyde says and finds himself oddly reluctant to leave. "Unless you're leaving soon."

"I'm under no demands," Craig says.

"Oh. That's cool," Clyde says.

They stare at each other a bit longer before Clyde finally turns to leave. Craig's hand catches his shoulder, stopping him from leaving. Clyde looks over his shoulder and back at Craig.

"Look, Clyde. I'm sorry, for like everything," Craig says.

Clyde furrows his brow turns around to face Craig completely.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for being a jerk," Craig repeats more earnestly now. "I know it's been like 11 years or whatever. Not to get all touchy-feely, but just… I'm sorry alright?"

"Oh, well that's… cool," Clyde says, a little surprised at the apology. "I really should get going, I have a deadline today."

"Okay," Craig says and his face is already back to complete apathy.

"If you have time, we should catch up sometime," Clyde says. "Like you said, it's been 11 years."

Craig nods, openly shocked at the offer. That's how Clyde leaves him, standing dumbly in the doorway of his hotel room while Clyde walks away, grinning to himself.

Check one for Clyde Donovan.

XXXXXX

Arriving back at his apartment, Clyde knows he needs to write something. There needs to be something that he can at least submit to his boss for editing. He's done it before where he submitted the shittiest draft he could manage (that was after a week long bender with Stan and Kenny because Kyle took up a residency in LA instead of coming back to South Park) and when it was published, an editor had bumped up the quality. Sure it makes his boss unhappy but at least the story was continuing and they weren't replacing it with a recycled short story Clyde had previously written.

Those weeks, people were generally unhappy with Clyde and last time he completely blew off a deadline, nearly half the population of South Park scowled at him. It didn't really help with Clyde's faint attempts at not becoming a recluse.

Before sitting down at his desk, he showers and changes into fresh clothes. He turns the water hot enough that it turns his skin red. Like he's trying to remove both the hangover and Craig's hidden gestures. Being clean will clear his head.

Once sitting down, Clyde realizes exactly how messy his apartment is. Especially his workstation. There are papers and post-its covering every surface with random ideas for more short stories or plot points he needs to hit in his continuing newspaper serial. None of these seem important now. There was only one thing that really wanted to escape from Clyde's mind. It wasn't a singular story – but a series of events surrounding one person. A collection of events Clyde had front row seats to.

For the first time since high school, Clyde wants to write about Craig Tucker. When they were dating, Craig had been Clyde's muse. Despite Craig's annoyance at how sappy it way, Clyde knew that secretly Craig preened at being the focus.

Not that anyone had really known about it, Clyde's poetry and stories were deliberately vague and anonymous. His readers never questioned the deep personal elements of love from a person who had seemingly only dated Bebe in the third and fourth grade and a brief, shallow fling with Lisa Berger. People were more encapsulated by the mystery of a secret love. People loved star-crossed lovers, not matter how cliché. After they had broken up, Clyde had, understandably, written a slew of embarrassing breakup poems. The majority of which Clyde burned before he left for college. The remaining few are hidden in a box in the closet of Clyde's childhood bedroom, untouched by his father.

After that, Craig Tucker faded in Clyde's mind, almost lost to Clyde's easy heart. The people he dated in college found his poems charming and endearing until Clyde got a little too committed too quickly. Most of those poems' fate were unknown to Clyde, their recipient usually keeping them. Clyde very rarely gave his poems to Craig, and those he did assumed were just tossed in the garbage.

Right now, Clyde doesn't want to write love sonnets to Craig – he just wants to write about him. The man who claimed to hate Peru so much is now working towards a PhD specializing in that very subject. The very idea of Craig Tucker fascinates him and Clyde wants to immortalize his stories in writing.

The first draft of Craig's trip to Peru came out effortlessly. Clyde changes names and the location from Peru, but it's virtually the same rough story. He doesn't want people to know he's suddenly writing about Craig, not with how publicized the end of their friendship was. With Craig's return to South Park, it definitely would stir up rumours and gossip. Clyde really doesn't want to be at the center of that mess. Just the people who knew would know exactly what it is about. The majority of the people don't remember the attack of giant guinea pigs – and definitely don't know that was Craig involved – because it was all lost in pile of the wild events that just happen in South Park.

Clyde submits the draft with a short note of apology to his boss. It's not the first time he's submitted an interlude when he's needed a break from the current story. There will be disappointment in the wait, but people will still be excited to read a new piece. It's a happy medium between a rerun and a continuation of the story.

Once done, he pushes himself away from the computer and starts to tidy up his apartment. Never before has he had a compulsion to clean before. Clyde has been very happy to live in what Kyle describes as 'barely livable.' He doesn't have company over often, no roommate, and no significant other. There is no need to be tidy when no one else to shares the space.

When he's done, garbage bags fill the entranceway ready to be taken outside. Clyde used cleaning products that had been given to him by his father when he first moved into the apartment. It no longer smells like pizza crusts but some fruity _Febreze_ that Clyde kind of enjoys. All of dirty laundry is in the hamper and all of the clean laundry is in the closet, not still in the hamper after it had been cleaned. Looking around, all the surfaces shine and there isn't a stray piece of anything.

It's really nice.

That's when Clyde realizes something is very wrong. He hasn't cleaned his space since before his mother died. Collapsing into the center of the room, Clyde folds into himself and believes in that moment his world is completely spinning apart.

After taking a few breathes to steady himself, Clyde pulls his phone out and calls Kyle. He needs to calm if he's going to get a polite Kyle to sort of Clyde's shit for him.

"Hello?" Kyle answers.

His throat is scratchy and he sounds grumpy. Clyde can make out Stan and Kenny talking in the background.

"I hate my job," Clyde blurts, all sense of rationality out the window.

"What?" Kyle says.

"I just cleaned my entire apartment. I spent the last two hours completely cleaning my apartment."

"And how does this relate to your job?" Kyle asks, unnervingly patient.

"I sat at my desk to write the next installment for the paper and all I could think about was how dirty the room was. Then I wrote about that time you guys went to Peru instead, sent that to my editor, and then I just cleaned my entire apartment," Clyde says. "I feel like that means I hate my job."

"Go to sleep, Clyde," Kyle says. "It's only noon, there's no way you got enough sleep when you called Stan at 4 am. Call me once you've had a nap."

Kyle's harsh. Some part of Clyde's mind knows Kyle is right. He's had a few hours of sleep and isn't thinking straight. He was just cleaning because he's overtired and not himself. A nap will solve all Clyde's problems. Sometimes Clyde just needs a Broflovski Reality Check.

The majority of his mind isn't rational at this moment in time and make Clyde want to yell at Kyle. Though that will just create brand new problems. Clyde _is_ deeply unhappy with his life and his job. Cleaning his apartment is just a fully manifested symbol that it's time for change. However a nap will help him see the issue more clearly. If there still is an issue.

"Okay," Clyde says, sniffling a little bit. "I'll take a nap."

"Dude, are you crying?" Kyle asks.

"I think I'm losing my mind," Clyde confesses, tears already running down his face.

"Go to sleep," Kyle directs. "Call me after that."

"Okay," Clyde murmurs and ends the call.

He heads to his newly tidied bedroom and crawls underneath the covers of the bed he just made. It doesn't take long for sleep to take him and the logical part of his brain takes over, reminding that it's alright. He loves his job and his apartment did really need a cleaning.

XXXXXX

A/N: chapter title – alone together, fall out boy

If at times this fic seems to drawl on about Stan and Kyle, that's because the original fic was about Stan and Kyle but through the eyes of Clyde. It's the only way I can really write about them and actually complete a project.

Here's the playlist! Which are actually just a bunch of songs I heard on the radio and made me think of this fic over the years with a couple of the songs I played non-stop while writing this.

Closer - The Chainsmokers

Sky Full of Stars - Coldplay

Let You Heart Hold Fast - Fort Atlantic

This Town - Niall Horan

Rumour Has it - Adele

Alone Together - Fall Out Boy

Down in the Valley - The Head and the Heart

Conquest of Spaces - Woodkid

Let Your Heart Hold Fast - Fort Atlantic


End file.
